As you probably already know, Tamar Braxton gave birth to a baby boy, as she tweeted last month. So a big congrats is in order for her and husband Vince! But backlashing began to take effect for this new mom when she shared this with Cherise Nicole of CocoaFab: “Logan is everything. He is so yummy. Immediately everything changes but immediately you don’t fall in love. But I heard that you do, but they lied. Somebody lied. Just like you fall in love with a person, its just like that. They’re little people. He is so yummy.”
Now I’ll be honest and say that my initial reaction was, “What is wrong with her?” However, after thinking it through, and watching the interview, I have to say that I can (kind of) empathize with her. For the record, I most definitely fell in love with all of my babies when I first laid eyes on them. But I also went through a small bout of post partum depression after my last child was born. When talking to other moms who had a much more serious diagnosis, and reading several online forums, I was amazed at the number of moms who felt the same way that Tamar did. Some of them even felt resentment because they never wanted kids in the first place but gave in to their spouse, so they felt trapped. Others may have had great careers, and just didn’t connect because there was a drastic change in going from the corporate world, to staying home with a baby they couldn’t really interact with (*raises hand). I’m not implying that Tamar is going through PPD because some women do experience these feelings and it’s not because they have PPD or that they’re a bad mom.
If you’ve watched even just one episode of the Tamar and Vince show, then you know how important it has been for her to get her album recorded and get it released. I remember them having a few baby conversations and her being adamant about not being ready [to have kids] until her album dropped. Well, God had other plans and blessed them with Logan. So now she has the added stress of having to lose the baby weight before her album drops in September, not to mention all of the appearances/interviews/shows she’ll have to do to promote the album. That would be a lot of stress on any mom, so multiply that three-fold for a celebrity mom, and you might be able to understand a little (maybe), where her comment/feelings were coming from. I know looks can be deceiving but she definitely looks like she’s happy to be a mom, and even happier when talking about the interaction between Logan and Vince. I’m really looking forward to seeing how Logan will change her, so it’ll be intersting to watch.
Now, I understand everyone experiences different emotions when having a child and I really can’t speak for Tamar. But personally, I could never compare the love I had for my newborn babies, to falling in love with my husband. It was definitely a different kind of love that only a mom could understand and have for her child.
BMWK moms, was it love at first site with you and your child? If not were you surprised? How did you deal with it?
I think Tamar was brave to be so honest. People have these idealized notions of motherhood, but it is so much more complicated. There are so many changes that happens, so many adjustments. All women don’t want kids, all women are not elated with finding out they are pregnant, and motherhood isn’t for everyone. No woman should give in to having babies because husband or family wants her to have them. When they get here, though, we have a duty to love and protect them. I felt the same way Tamar felt when I found out about my pregnancy. I was not happy, and I didn’t want it. I love my life, and the adjustments were just too much. The changes were too many. My hubbub was happy, but that is something he felt all alone. I ended up miscarrying my baby, but my life is slowly getting back to normal, and I’m dude to he more careful.
I’m currently pregnant and expecting my first child any day now. I can relate to Tamar. I was happy and shocked that I was pregnant. But because my marriage is still in it’s first year and it is very rocky, I quickly lost happiness. I even considered adoption and wanted God to take my child away from me bc I felt that my marriage was ending after only 2 or 3 months of marriage. I didn’t want to get married only to become a single mother after I was abstinent for many years before marriage.
To top it off my husband hasn’t been supportive but emotionally and mentally abusive towards me. He calls me fat, sorry, etc. He doesn’t speak to me for weeks and if he does it’s to boss me around the house concerning housework. He hasn’t even bought his son a $5 toy. That crushes me so and my self esteem as been effected. So I’m still battling emotionally with my child bc I’ve had so much anger towards his father. When I think of the child I think of his father. I know he’s innocent and very precious and I do love him even while in the womb and I don’t want him to feel my negative vibe or hear my negative words when speaking about his father or to his father. I want to look at my son and love him with all I have within me.
I’ve worked with kids for many years so I’ve never imagined me feeling negative about my son. I just feel regret about giving my husband a child or even marrying him. I wish I could go back in time and reverse everything. I believe if I would’ve married someone else I would have been happier and the entire experience bringing a child into the world would be exciting. I’ve always wanted children but I wish it would’ve happened later in life bc things in my career were really looking up for me before I got married and then suddenly I lost my job, battling with self esteem all of a sudden, etc. It’s like being with him brought me down instead of adding to my life I feel depleted. And I’m a very confident and accomplished woman.
But I believe that whenever he’s born whether it’s on day one or two that my son will bring me joy and put a smile on my face in the midst of the storm. Until then I need a divorce attorney.
Hi Jennifer, I’m so sorry to hear about what you are going though. I can’t imagine having to deal with the added stress of an unsupporting spouse when preparing for your journey into motherhood. I pray that God will see you through with happiness and health, and will give you all the love you need to pass on to your son when he arrives.
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Today, I went too the beach frdont with mmy kids.
I found a sea shell and gave it to my 4 year old daughter and said “You can hear the ocean if you put this to your ear.” She placed the shell to her ear and
screamed. There was a hermit crab inside
and it pinched her ear. She never wants to go back!
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