There’s something you need to know if you love a Black woman. There is one item that she holds near and dear to her heart and it’s something you must never ask her give up. This one thing is: her head scarf.
Some women call it a head or hair wrap, or a wrap scarf. And others choose to put on a satin bonnet. They come in all kinds of colors, shapes, sizes, prints, and patterns. You will find them in between your pillows in the morning after sliding off during the night, in her drawer, or stored underneath the sink in the bathroom.
We love our scarves because it protects our investment in our hair. This is true whether we are natural and spent time twisting it, went to the salon and got it relaxed, or had someone braid or weave it up. Wearing a scarf at night is ritualistic for the Black woman and it becomes like second nature to us. There’s nothing like breaking in a new scarf and getting it to fit just right when you tie your hair down at night. That is a victory we cannot explain!
Our scarves are with us through all of the ups and downs of life. We wear them to lay our edges down on the way to work, in preparation for special occasions, or during the late hours of the night when we are up comforting a sick child. We experience some level of attachment to our scarves for that reason (in addition to them keeping our hair laid!), so we wear them until they are old and worn out.
I have had the same pink scarf for years and my husband always talks so bad about it! I have a few that I keep in rotation, but this particular one I’ve had the longest. Anytime I wear it he says, “I thought you got rid of that thing!” My reply is always, “Nope, I have not. I shall not. I will not!” It’s my favorite and has been with me through so much and it still works like a charm!
I can admit that scarves may not be the sexiest accessory. This is true. However, I can guarantee my husband a better experience when the lights go out if I don’t have to worry about what my hair will look like the next day after we’ve had our fun (wink!).
There may be a day or two that we will go without it, but it’s very rare. Some ladies may prefer to sleep with a satin pillow case instead, so there’s that option, too! However she chooses to approach it, a Black woman will most certainly do what needs to be done to keep her crown lookin’ right. We will always wear our scarves because they protect our hair and help us preserve the beautiful styles you like to see us in – so please don’t ever ask us to give them up!
BMWK Ladies, do you wear a scarf at night? What color is it? Fellas, does your wife wear one? How long has she had it?