When women find out I dated actor and advocate Lamman Rucker, they always ask why we aren’t together today. I think if we stayed in the relationship, we wouldn’t have chased our dreams. We would have chased each other. Lamman may not have moved to California to become a Hollywood heartthrob, and I would not have relocated overseas to host a television show. He wouldn’t have landed a television series, and I wouldn’t have given birth to a beautiful baby girl. Perhaps we ignited each other’s passions and pushed each other along the pathway to our divine destinies.
Our relationship wasn’t as glamorous as you might think. There wasn’t a paparazzi or limousine driver accompanying us on our first date. As a matter of fact, we both took a public bus to go to dinner at Max & Erma’s. He picked up the tab. I was a senior in high school, and he played basketball at a local university. Over the weeks and months, he hung out with my friends and met my family. One night, he dropped me off and then went out to a nightclub with my sister and her friends! I had a curfew and was underage. Sometimes I miss the innocence of my first relationships—no pressure to have sex and definitely no pressure to get married. We didn’t have a big blow up when we broke up. I went away to college, and he went away to California. Little did I know, years later we would meet again. I giggled a couple times through the interview. Although I had seen him over the years, I still pictured him as my high school sweetheart and prom date—not a grown man with a career and countless female fans.
Heather: This is so funny. I can’t take this interview seriously. I told my mom I saw you yesterday, and she was cracking up. OK, I’ll get it together. You know I write a singles column, so the first question everyone wants to know is, is Lamman Rucker single?
Lamman: (Smile) Uh, I’m not married.
Heather: Come on Lamman, don’t give me a hard time. Do you want to get married? Not to me. Just in general. (Smile)
Lamman: I think one of the components of ultimate fulfillment is partnership. Things aren’t nearly as fun without someone to share it with. I believe if you can have a great partner—a friend, someone you can have a mutual passion with, all the challenges that you might go through in the process of finding that love is worth it.
Heather: Do you find that you’re dating with a purpose versus just hanging out with someone?
Lamman: As you mature, you have new goals—grown ass man goals. Naturally, as your goals and aspirations change, the whole formula changes. It’s not necessarily that I’m looking for a wife, but I am open to finding an incredible woman and realizing that it’s not only that I care about her and that she cares about me, but we want to invest in each other. Is this a woman that I love having around, but hate not having her around?