The Church is doing singles wrong! At least that’s what some Christian single men and women truly believe.
Off the heels of an inspiring sermon that was focused on helping singles have better relationships in 2017, one young woman wasn’t impressed. There’s got to be more to this single life than this, she pondered. Apparently, she feels all messages towards singles in the church are the same old cliché messages.
There’s got to be more to this single life than this, she pondered.
So she asked her friends, on social media, what advice you’ve heard over and over again as a single person that you’re tired of hearing. What ensued was a bum-rush of frustrated Christian singles lamenting and venting about the church’s message to the singles. I narrowed down their list to the top 10 (+1 bonus) pieces of cliché advice singles are tired of hearing in church. And here is what they said:
- “Do you, serve God, get yourself together…and when you least suspect it, your Boaz will come. I’m #TeamDecadeOfDoingMe. I be tryna find new ways to be distracted so I can hurry up and least expect it.”
- “Be so hidden in the Word that he has to search hard to find you. #Ithinkhegotlostthough”
- “No sex. They don’t seem to think that there are actually those of us who have been abstinent for YEARS OR haven’t had sex before OR only had one or two sexual partners before abstinence. Not everyone who is single is having sex.”
- “Marry someone who loves you more than you love them because women can learn to love but it’s rare for a man to feel as strongly about you as you feel about him.”
- “Marry a woman you would want your daughter to end up like.”
- “Pay more attention to the state of woman’s heart and mind than how she looks or is shaped. But there’s nothing’s wrong with appreciating her outer beauty because God created women to be attractive.”
- “Get yourself together…pray to God that this person who is meant for you, so much so that you should nearly be sad giving up your singleness!!!”
- “Service while waiting (like really serve).”
- “Show what you’re waiting on by what you’re working on. If you’re waiting on a spouse, then conduct yourself like a spouse before you meet them. There is no automatic switch that changes you when you get in a relationship or get married. You can’t perform what you haven’t practiced.”
- “The church doesn’t appear to support “dating”. The church supports dating with intent.”
- “Set boundaries and have patience.”
Not only did her friends share their frustrations by chronicling hackneyed messages to singles, but they also told her how they felt about it (which I’ll share in my next post.)
So BMWK family let’s here from you. What singles advice have you heard over and over again in church that you’re tired of hearing?