I have a confession: before I got engaged I pretty much had my entire wedding planned on Pinterest. Another confession: before I even MET my fiancé, I had an idea of what my wedding would look like.
I Dreamed of My Prince
I know I’m not the only one. Girls dream about being a beautiful bride all the time. Once we become women, we realize we’re one step closer to having our dream become a reality. We go through life praying for this invisible man who will one day become our husband. Where is he? Who is he? Our Prince Charming finally arrives, knocking us off our feet, drowning us in a love so deep that we never want to come up for air. Because it can only get better, he asks for your hand in marriage, causing you to experience a natural high you never thought was earthly possible. Now the real fun can begin. Ish. Gets. Real.
I Got a Reality Check
Hold up, stop the press, how come no one ever told me how hard and stressful wedding planning can be? My little fantasy bubble was popped as soon as I began to seriously plan for my wedding. It was one thing to pick out colors and songs for my pretend wedding, but when things got real, I was inundated with a million details I never knew existed. On top of that, weddings are expensive. The reception punks you into choosing who REALLY matters in your life. Trust me, at $50 a plate, you only want those present who genuinely love you.
I Changed My Focus
Needless to say, the pressure of planning my first and only wedding, slowly got to me. I was tired of my mama emailing me links every other hour, and I was almost sure if I had to make another decision, I would have a legit nervous breakdown. I took a break and didn’t discuss or plan anything for the wedding for two weeks. One day it dawned on me: on numerous occasions, after venting about how much stuff needs to be done for the wedding, my fiancé would say “My focus is on AFTER the wedding”. He would then explain how he wanted to ensure we’d be more than okay in every way; spiritually, financially, mentally, emotionally, etc. My fiancé, God bless his heart, was making sure we’d have a marriage more beautiful than our wedding. Why hadn’t I thought of that?
There are many factors that cause marriages to fail. Whether it’s finances, miscommunication, a lack of trust, etc. I can’t help but to wonder if us as humans have it all wrong.
The time spent prior to the wedding seems to be focused solely on the wedding, which is only 1 day. Doesn’t that seem backwards? Shouldn’t engaged couples indulge in counseling, discussions about finances, children, and goals? Or, has picking out a flavor for the wedding cake and destination for the honey moon triumphed over these things?
I’m Preparing for Marriage
As I continue to plan for our big day, which is September 06, 2014, I’m totally committed to having a marriage more beautiful than my wedding. Don’t get it twisted, everything on that day is going to be simply beautiful. Yes, our Old Hollywood Glam themed wedding will be one to talk about for years. My dress. The decor. The cake. My fine man in his tuxedo. Did I mention we’re having a live band? And I can’t leave out the fact that our reception will be at The Historic Parkway Ballroom here in Chicago, you know, just a simple spot where President Barack Obama mingles when he’s in town. Yes honey, it’s going to be fabulous. However, that is only the beginning.
BMWK – Did you have a similar epiphany while planning for your big day? I’d love to hear all about it. Sound off below!