We’re back for another week of our new webseries here on Blackandmarriedwithkids.com called “The Bottom Line“ featuring relationship coaches Ayize and Aiyana Ma’at. Every Monday the couple will provide clear and concise relationship advice that will end with them giving you, “The Bottom Line”. Check out this week’s episode where the Ma’ats tackle intimacy in your marriage and leave us a comment letting us know what you think.
Relationship & Life Coaches, Ayize & Aiyana Ma’at, are a loving and committed couple that have been together for 15 years and married for 8. Their union has produced 4 beautiful children who keep them very busy! They are the Co-founders of B Intentional, a Human Potential firm that can assist you with improving your relationships, overcoming obstacles, and reaching your most ridiculous goals. They provide perspective and insight to singles and couples through the “Ask The Ma’at’s Love & Life Advice Column” at www.bintentional.com. For more info on workshops & classes, visit www.bintentional.com.
Whyte23 says
Ayize & Aiyana,
Excellent bottom Line facts….
For our “Queen” talk to me before you touch me! In-To-ME-U-See…..intimacy!
&
For our “King”List is more….Baby please stop talking, just touch ME! Amen Ayize “the less clothing our Queen has on the better”. Too funny, but oh so true!
Thank you ” Bottom Line Dream Team” for sharing your love to Millions!
.-= Whyte23´s last blog ..Marriage And Grudges Don’t Mix =-.
Ayize Ma'at says
@ Whyte23
Thanks for the kudos……it’s important for women to internalize that for a lot of men the route to experience intimacy is through physical touch. Sista’s …it is what it is. Equally so…it’s important for men to internalize that for a lot of women the mind is “the stairway to heaven”. Brotha’s keep on climbing. LOL. We are wired differently…therefore for us to establish a solid relationship we’ve got to respect difference and know that we are both in this relationship to be fed. Sometimes the “food” that we need to be satisfied just looks a little bit different. …i.e. “talk to me before you touch men” and “shhhhh…just touch me”
missbrown25 says
WOW!!! The fella that worte the letter about his girl sounds like the same thing my fiance is going through..we went from have sex multiple times in a day to one to two times a month. I am 25yrs old and this is just not normal! I have been trying to figure out why i am just not interested in sex anymore! And i know sex is very important in a relationship,especially to a man and i’m just worried that if this is not resolved, our marriage will not last.
Aiyana Ma'at says
@missbrown25
I understand where you’re coming from. As women we go through different phases and cycles in terms of our interest in sex and our level of investment in our sex lives is impacted by what we have going on in our lives, i.e., kids, work, church, committees, etc. How man times do we say…”Not tonight baby…I’m just too tired.” And shoooot, we mean it because being a woman with all of our many hats can be exhausting! I’ve been there and it didn’t last even thought it may have been hard on my hubby. And, I must say that while I’ve gone through my periods of “not that interested”, I did make an intentional effort to “give some” 🙂 to mu husband because it’s not just about me. It’s not just about him. It’s about what’s best for our marriage!
Aiyana Ma'at says
Excuse all the typos ….this is what I was trying to say.
I understand where youre coming from. As women we go through different phases and cycles in terms of our interest in sex. Plus, our level of investment in our sex lives is impacted by what we have going on in our lives, i.e., kids, work, church, committees, etc. How many times do we say…â€Not tonight baby…Im just too tired.†And shoooot, we mean it because being a woman with all of our many hats can be exhausting! Ive been there and and those phases didn’t last forever even though it may have been hard on my hubby. But, I must say that while Ive gone through my periods of “not that interestedâ€, I did make an intentional effort to “give some†to my husband because its not just about me. Its not just about him. Its about whats best for our marriage!
missbrown25 says
Thanks Aiyana. Thanks for being turthful and down to earth. i need more people like you in my life.You shared that you experienced the same thing, but you also acknowledged your husband and how it was hard for him instead of saying “girl he should understand that you tired and if he don’t then he got a problem”….again thanks 🙂
Ronnie says
Thanks Aiyana ….talk to me before you touch me…. that’s the truth!!!
.-= Ronnie´s last blog ..VIDEO: The Bottom Line (Episode 2- Wasnt Last Night Amazing???) =-.
Tamara says
AMEN!!!! @ talk to me before you touch me
Thanks for this episode, it was (and will be) very helpful to us.
Tiya says
Love this episode. It is really good to hear both perspectives on intimacy. For me, I don’t even need the talk, I do need some help around the house and with the kids though, that turns me on 🙂 But seriously, it is important to have that talk so we both know what turns each other on. Thanks, this is great stuff!
Aiyana says
@Tiya
It is a proven fact that men who help out around the house get more….you know what. 🙂
.-= Aiyana´s last blog ..Its Already In You =-.
Rann says
Thank you so much for this bottom line. My husband and I were talking about this subject this morning after prayer. You are so right; a woman wants to be stimulated mentally instead of just” getting down to business.” This was very good
ok says
Concise, loving advice. Thank You, this was great. Aiyana you are spot on. I love the bottom line, hmmm but how to bring this up? Often our love-making occurs when he wakes me from my dreams, not much sleepy 4 play happening, but i quickly get with the program. Eventually I’m fine. I’ve mentioned this b 4 but….
Also he is sooo loving & great with everyting else. It’s the only thing that baffles me.
I’ll try again…