Many women I know, including me, live a fast-paced life. We have things to do, people to see, jobs to perform, and kids to take care of. There’s no time to stop. . . not even for a few seconds. However, living like this is not sustainable, especially not in marriage.
I’ve been guilty of rushing my husband to make decisions or to discuss a pressing matter as if the world would end at that very moment. But I’m learning a more excellent way as a wife. And it all started at dinner time when my husband asked for seconds.
There’s something about a man requesting a second helping of food that speaks to a woman’s heart. (Am I the only one who feels this way?) After rushing from work, rushing to cook, rushing to get homework done, and rushing to sit down to eat, my husband said, “I think I will have seconds.”
This time I rushed to serve him. Gladly.
Time stood still in that moment. Nothing else mattered but my husband’s desire to be fed by his wife and my desire to love on him in the kitchen.
Those few seconds, coupled with a second helping of dinner, taught me an important marriage lesson: my man (arguably many men) need seconds, in more ways than one. For example:
When a man asks for a few seconds to collect his thoughts, be still and quiet, trusting that he is hearing from God. After which time, he can speak to you with wisdom and in love.
When a man asks for a few seconds alone, let him be. We all need space to ourselves to unwind and to rest. Just because he wants to be alone doesn’t mean he doesn’t love or need you.
When a man asks for a second chance, give it to him. As long as no one’s life is in jeopardy, a second chance may be all the relationship needs to grow stronger.
Finally, when a man asks for seconds of YOU, that’s the moment nothing else matters but the love and intimacy you share.
The bottom line is this: when a man asks for seconds, it’s for a reason. Slow down enough to figure out what the reason is. Not only will it benefit your man but your marriage, too.
Have you been guilty of rushing through life and marriage? How do you respond when your man asks for seconds?
Niambi says
Hello Dr. Michelle! Thank you for sharing words of wisdom. This is really helping me to learn the characteristics of being an excellent wife.
Dr Michelle says
Thanks Niambi. Preparation will suit you well.
Tamecia says
This is the TRUTH right here! Thank you! Ooooh, this does my heart good. I SO get this and can’t wait to give my husband (future) seconds!!
Dr Michelle says
I also think we get so much in return!
Jamaal says
What I love most about reading BMWK, especially Dr. Michelle’s articles, is the Christian perspective informing the article. It’s crucial to recognize that marriage is a threefold relationship between the man, the woman and God. Thanks for keeping that in perspective.
Dr Michelle says
Thanks for being a loyal reader Jamaal. Can’t imagine life, let alone marriage, with God.
HMel says
Wow! Thanks so much Dr. Michelle. I really needed this today. Dealing with some major communication issues with my husband of 21 years. You would think we would have this down by now but nope! This is confirmation of something I read earlier. He is an awesome man and I am not giving him up. So giving him the seconds he needs will definitely be a priority moving forward.
Dr Michelle says
Awesome. Fight for it and hold on!
Andrea says
Never thought of “seconds” in this way. This has changed my perspective on some things. Thanks so much for sharing, Dr. Michelle. This article was right on time for me.
Dr Michelle says
Glad it came on time. Blessings.
PR Brown says
Seconds have always been very important to me because I just can’t get enough of my wife!
Fiona says
This is a great article, I am courting and have adapted many things you have stated, especially, when my partner asked for a second chance…as a result, our relationship is much better than it has ever been. Thank you