When’s the last time you told your spouse, “I love you”?

When’s the last time you said it first, instead of “I love you too”?

When’s the last time you told your spouse why you love them?

When’s the last time you did something to make them smile?

When was the last time that you took time to plan a nice date with your spouse?

When was the last you said, “You know what? You worked hard today. Why don’t you go lay down? I got this.”

When was the last you sent a naughty text message?

When was the last time you woke them up with a kiss?

When was the last time you cuddled?

When was the last time you bought then a card, but really, really took the time to write something meaningful inside?

Love (and marriage) isn’t about what you used to do. It isn’t about what you would if you had time. It’s really only about what you actually do. Good intentions are all well and dandy, but no one should have to wait eons before you get your act together, particularly if you’ve already said, “I do.” And “I do” means that. “I do.” Not “I’ll get around to it” or “I don’t have time now but she understands.” It’s “I do.” It’s a living, breathing testament to the fact that you will put your best foot forward in the marriage.

So if it’s been a while….

Call your spouse now and tell them you love them.

Make sure to tell them why.

Think of the one thing guaranteed to make them smile and then get/do that thing.

Clear your calendar for Friday (yes, in the midst of holiday chaos) and ask your spouse on a real, official date.

When your spouse gets off work today, give them permission to take the rest of the night off.

Whip out your phone and send them a “this is something to look forward to” text.

Set your alarm if you have to and remind them first thing in the morning why you chose them to spend your mornings with.

Lay on the couch together and just be together.

Break out a pen and paper and write a genuine love letter.

Doing these things will only help your relationship. Putting them off, getting “too busy,” or just not noticing that your relationship is parched will not.