by Tara Pringle Jefferson
Something is happening over at Vh1, as they must have decided that their Sunday night lineup needed a lot more color. I was actually excited about the offerings – Brandy & Ray J: A Family Business; Basketball Wives, featuring Shaq’s ex, Shaunie O’Neal; and What Chilli Wants.
Since just seeing Ray J’s face gives me a headache, I was looking forward to seeing what Shaunie cooked up and if being an NBA wife was what I thought it would be.
I watched the first episode and wondered, “Where are the WIVES?” Everyone was an ex-wife, an ex-fiance, or baby mama. Nothing wrong with those roles but what is the point of the show then? To show what happens once a relationship with an NBA player goes sour?
I do not mind these women having a place to chronicle their ups and downs but let’s be real and label it as such. Same issue I had with the Real Housewives series – clearly no one is paying attention to what a houseWIFE actually is.
Where are the wives? Where are the black wives on TV? Where are we? Other than Nene Leakes (who might not even be married anymore) and the various women on the House of Payne, where are we? Drop me some comments and let me know – where are we represented?
Tara Pringle Jefferson is a freelance writer and blogger living in Ohio with her husband and two children. Visit her blog, www.theyoungmommylife.com, to read more of her observations about life, motherhood and love.
I honestly think the real wives wouldn’t be interested in highlighting for the world what’s going on in their homes.
.-= Kim Crouch´s last blog ..Snitches May Get Stitches, But Silence Certainly Kills =-.
Where are we? We are in the same place on television as we are in real life. 40 something percent of us are not married. We are baby mamma’s, girlfriends, and domestic partners.
I agree with the comment about seeing Ray J, and that goes for Brandy’s lying behind as well. I don’t know what Shaunie was trying to prove with that God-awful show she put together, but apparently these are just the basketball women who are her friends and a couple others sprinkled in to make it “good tv.” I was disappointed in her attempt.
The only show I kinda agree with is Chili’s show, because it shows how rediculous single, “independent”, black women’s standards are for a good husband. Hopefully, we see it as a wake-up call, and not a guide. Peppa’s show had potential, but I can’t get past all the weave to see anything worth listening to!!
Just my $.25 cents!!!
I have to say , I was thinking the same thing last night before I had to just turn away. The show should be called how to be a weave wearing, stuck up baby momma/ ex wife, and dancer groupie. It’s a shame that the two main charters in the show only one is married. And flaunting on TV how her spouse cheats. WHERE IS CLAIRE HUXTABLE !
You know, I’ve never watched any of the shows mentioned and honestly after looking at my twitter time-line yesterday I think I know why… Personally I have a huge thing about engaging in intelligent conversation & for some reason, I think these show’s don’t really stimulate that…
Tara, I totally agree. I was surprised too that the Basketball Wives, only has one official wife. I’m joining you in the search for the real Black Wife. We’re out there, and we need to be seen more often. I can say that the Family Crews is one that I can think of for now. Oh and Run’s House (does that still air)?
.-= Tiya´s last blog ..Superwoman I am not! =-.
I agree with your statement / question regarding “Where are the wives? Where are the black wives on TV? Where are we?” The sad reality is that the media has taken the positive images of married women and men off the air due to a “so called” lack of them in every day households. The single parent household has become the norm for some. I’ve watched a number of live in and dating relationships make a turn for the better once they saw the role model of our President and first lady’s example. I prayed for that trend to continue with God at the center. These reality shows just continue to be a constant reminder of how NOT to live (as a groupie; cohabitate; drama queen; ex-wife; etc.). After watching the shows, my question is, “Just because there seems to be many more out of wedlock children born, independant women with false manhunt hopes, and men and women choosing to cohabitate under the same roof without being legally married, does it make it right?” My answer is “Heck no.” My husband and I are from the old school. Bring back the wholesome shows so that this new age can get a taste of Gods family again. We MUST be the examples for them to see, not TV programs.
I too have wondered where are the wholesome black shows that depicts a married couple taking care of their children together under the same household. As you stated, the only married couples depicted on television are those in the Tyler Perry shows on TBS and the reruns of Cosby Show, 7th Heaven, etc.
The only reason why reality television is popping up everywhere is that we are accepting it, just like we accept every other God forbidden thing that goes on in America. If we (not literally) were to stop watching those awful shows and stop trying to model our lives like that, then ratings would be low and we could get wholesome shows on television.
About the shows last night on VH1, I actually enjoyed seeing Brandy & Ray J and their family, but where is Brandy’s daughter? I can’t take Basketball Wives and last night was my last episode. Chilli’s show show how ridiculous women requirements are and it makes me realize how grateful I am to be married.
My husband and I just watch reality television for entertainment.
@LeKeisha – I like Brandy and Ray J’s show, but only because of the parents. Heck, kick Brandy and Ray J off and let them have the show! 🙂 I am amazed their parents are still married, as they let the kids take front and center most of their marriage and I love to see them fighting to get that “couple time” they missed. That’s awesome.
And yes, I was wondering where is Brandy’s daughter but I guess it’s a good thing we don’t see her. Poor thing does not need to be sharing camera time with her uncle…LOL.
.-= Tara @ The Young Mommy Life´s last blog ..doing what you can to get by =-.
@Tara I agree, their parents are too cute and Mrs. Sonja does not play when it comes to business. I like it how she takes charge of the business and check Ray J’s butt when needed. I love them as a couple, too.
.-= LaKeshia @ Kreative Talk´s last blog ..Check Me Out Over There =-.
I think its because reality shows at this point thrive on negativity, fighting and drama. Most reality shows that I see , White or Black, don’t have anything positive to show at all. A happily married couple is not what the producers of these shows want to focus on. Look at Real Housewives of Atlanta; DeShawn Snow was gone after season one because she didn’t bring that level of drama to the table. I think it has come with the shift to mostly reality tv. When you had a sitcom where you would focus on a couple as the center and writers could make up stories, you saw more husbands and wives in successful marriages on tv. Now with the so called “reality” television, every series has to see how it can outdo the other with catfights etc. Not that wives can’t fit into that category (i.e. Ne Ne Leakes) but for the most part unfortuntately they don’t fit into that lineup.
i agree with kim crouch. real wives are too busy being WIVES to let the cameras come in and snoop or start some mess. look at jon and kate. he was happy with kate talking to him like that until they got their show and people started emailing him and saying stuff like,” why do you let her talk to you like that,or dang she told you,or she is just running all over you, if you were my man i wouldnt talk to you like that,you need to leave kate and find you someone who would appreciate you” being on reality tv will jack up any good rock solid marriage. thats why you wont see any nba wives on that show. as for regular t.v. shows the cosby show,growing pains,family matters, shows like that wont survive today because they dont want fluff anymore,they are hooked are foolishness and nonsense, we have to be the role models for our children and let them and their friends see what a good black marriage looks like. what real housewives look like!!!3
Speaking to your point, Kim and Fran – where are the good depictions of marriage period, black or white? In terms of reality TV or otherwise, I’m stuck after the Duggars…Wow, can’t believe I just said that.
.-= Tara @ The Young Mommy Life´s last blog ..doing what you can to get by =-.
Fran you are so correct, If we are honest we all know that positive black role models wont do well on TV. There is an expectation even within our own community that black couples do not “really” have healthy and happy lives together so within our own communities we would support good depictions of marriage and I think having black people depicted in positive roles are important.
I actually enjoy Brandy and Ray Jay’s show…I think it is because of the parents. I love to see that family working together and throughout it all they are still together. I like the close bond that Brandy and Ray Jay have…but I have never really been a fan of Ray Jay ( I just don’t like his image and his antics.)
The basketball wives show is about to be put in the same category as the Real Housewives in my book…it’s a shame too… because I wish this show was used as a forum for something positive. I know it can be done. For instance, I really liked the reality show that Taj (from SWV) and Eddie George had. From the episodes that I saw, it seemed that they chose to focus on positive things rather than all of the drama. But let’s face it…drama brings the high ratings.
Besides Run’s House and the House of Payne, I really can’t think of where the black wives are on TV (besides on the re-runs of the discontinued shows.) It’s not even a black or white thing. It seems that most shows on TV depict married couples behaving badly now-a-days. Oh…I have just started watching the show Lincoln Heights…tonight’s episode was really good. The main characters seem to have a strong marriage..where they are supportive of each other….(at least in the episodes that I am seeing now…but I think I am watching the re-runs this late at night…so I hope they are still together.)
I need some more Soul Food…does anybody else miss that show?
.-= Ronnie´s last blog ..The Bottom Line (Episode 4- Whats Yours Is Mine, Whats Mine Is Mine!) =-.
Wow what has our society come to? I have only watched a very few moments of this show (Basketball Wives) and barely made it through that much. I feel nothing but pity for these women who thought they had made it and came up short. This just goes to show that having money doesn’t always bring lasting love or happiness. We need to focus on what’s really important in life, commitment, family, faithfulness and love. Those things are sorely lacking in all of these “so called” relationships. I also believe they need to change the name of these shows, as most of the women are not married and have never been married.
.-= JE´s last blog ..The Bottom Line (Episode 4- Whats Yours Is Mine, Whats Mine Is Mine!) =-.
Ed [a.k.a. 4 Ed (@DJEdNice) April 26, 2010 at 9:01 am] . . my sentiments exactly . . .
“You know, Ive never watched any of the shows mentioned and honestly after looking at my twitter time-line yesterday I think I know why… Personally I have a huge thing about engaging in intelligent conversation & for some reason, I think these shows dont really stimulate that…”
As someone with a background in marketing & advertising, I can say that a large chunk of this problem is that there are not enough minorities who have a say in putting these shows on air. The producers, writers, directors and the like are most often white males. So what we see on tv is a reflection of what their thoughts & beliefs about the black lifestyle… no matter how untrue, stereotypical or just plan ridiculous it may be.
Another point – it’s all about $$$. These shows with baby mamas and ex-wives get high ratings because we watch them. A lot.
.-= Tiffany´s last blog ..Ok Honey, You Can Have a Dog =-.
I asked myself the same question each time I watched Real Housewives of Atlanta and noticed the wife/non-wife ratio.
Still don’t have an answer. :/
.-= {JeLisa} @ Blogging Ever After´s last blog ..Our One Hour Vacation to Japan =-.
The show “The Family Crews” which aired on BET had its first season this year and showed a really beautiful black family. “Runs House” is another show. When these shows come on, we have to watch.
When I first saw this show I, too, wondered, why this show was called Basketball “WIVES” when many of the women are either former fiance’s and ex-girlfriends, or just baby-mamas? Infact one of the girls is just a former basketball cheerleader. There are only two women on the show who are actually wives of basketballs players, Shaunie and Jennifer. Even of those two, one has filed for divorce and the other seeems to be headed there.
More appropriate titles for this show:
Wanna-be Basketball Wives
Former Basketball Wives
Former Basketball Fiances
Basketball Baby-Mamas
I was very excited when I read the Essence article that Shaunie had a show coming out…….then it came on. Basketball Weirdos. I was wondering the same thing. I thought the show was going to highlight what life is REALLY like as a basketball wife. The charity work, handling the household when the husband is on the road, what life is like in the off-season, you know, that type of stuff.
As for Brandy and Ray J. I think that people would be alot more receptive to them if their mother wasn’t such a jerk. She ruined their “likeability” quoient a long time ago.
And jeeeeeeeeeez let’s not get started on Why Chili’s Crazy, ooooops I mean What chili Wants. Are you serious?