Marriage is wonderful, and it can resemble the legendary white picket fence lifestyle. However, the lie of it all is that it just happens. Two people get together and because they are madly in love, the fantasy is that they will get married and live happily ever after. It just doesn’t work that way. Folks who believe this lie are devastated when “madly in love” becomes “I didn’t know this was so much work.”
The white picket fence ideal is not perfect but it is possible.
When you see a white picket fence remember somebody labored to build that fence. Once it was just wood that had to be sanded and shaped into something of beauty and strength. Then it had to be staked deep in the ground so that the blowing winds won’t knock it down. It is painted real pretty to protect what is underneath. And still, it is maintained to ward off predators and damage. That beautiful white picket fence cost something. It didn’t just pop and say here I am. Somebody worked until they saw something wonderful. Marriage is the same way; it costs you something. You have to work it to keep it wonderful.
Work to maintain your passion and your peace. It’s important to maintain your passion for one another. It may not be the excitement that first drew you together, but it can be a new passion that keeps you excited to see one another. Your heart should still skip a beat when he walks in the room. That’s the kind of passion that is so great that your grandchildren’s children will talk about it.
When your heart is at peace, it makes it easier to focus on the beauty of your mate and your future together. However, let me tell you from firsthand experience everything under the sun will try to steal your peace. Baby girl needs cupcakes for class tomorrow, and she tells you at 9 pm. Finances are plaguing you and your mate, causing you to lose sleep. Any of this sound familiar? Don’t let your heart be troubled. Frustration and worry only rob you of the joy that belongs in your married. Work to remain at peace.
No one gets married to fight and disagree. We get marriage because we think some resemblance of wonderful is waiting for us on the other side of “I do”. Yes, it is waiting for you, but you have to put in the work to get it. Just like the white picket fence it takes consistent effort towards the result you want.
The white picket fence is a lie when you only see the fence and not the work it takes to build and maintain such a thing of beauty. After reading this article, I hope when you think about the white picket fence ideal of marriage, you see that it is possible. With the right sanding, shaping, passion and peace marriage can be the object of beauty that you desire. The white picket fence ideal is not perfect but it is possible.
BMWK, do you agree? Did you think your marriage would be like a white picket fence?