For the past 13 years, black couples, churches and marriage-focused organizations all over the country have been celebrating Black Marriage Day. This year, the momentous occasion honoring black love will be celebrated on April 3rd.
The day, which launched in 2003 by founder Nisa Muhammad of Wedded Bliss, started with just 30 cities and has now grown to more than 300 communities across the country. Its growth isn’t by accident. The need for more positive images of black marriage and family is long overdue.
This celebration is by no means meant to insinuate the marriages of people from other races don’t matter. It’s just that black marriages need a little extra TLC to combat so many of the negative stereotypes and images we see daily.
There may be some from other communities who would argue there is no distinction between black marriage and all marriage, but here are a few reasons why black marriage matters.
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Black marriage rates have declined.
According to US News and the Princeton-Brookings report on marriage, black women marry later in life, are less likely to marry at all and have higher rates of marital instability compared to both white and Hispanic women,
Another report by healthymarriageinfo.org states the rates of marriage in the black community have declined while the rates of divorce, separation, cohabitation, out-of-wedlock births and children residing in female-headed households have increased. With those statistics is there any question as to where we should place our attention?
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Our images aren’t balanced.
Just turning on your television will remind you of how blacks are viewed in the media. From news reports to the negative portrayals of black men on even our most beloved television programs, we are left desperately wanting more visuals of a healthy black family. It seems the negatives far outweigh the positives, and this is sending the wrong message to everyone..
Healthy black marriages exist and Black Marriage Day reminds us of that.
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More than 50 percent of black children live in single parent homes.
We desperately need this movement as our children are reported more likely to come from single parent homes.
According to datacenter.kidscount.org, 66 percent of black children live in single-parent homes. Black marriage matters because our children need to have an opportunity to experience and repeat healthy love.
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Cycles must be broken.
Children from single-parent homes are more likely to drop out of school, experience teen pregnancy and experience divorce thus repeating a cycle. The more healthy marriages they witness, the greater the chance they’d repeat that cycle instead. Black children can’t repeat something they don’t see.
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Our communities are suffering.
Violence is on the rise in many of our communities, and our support of one another seems to be minimal. Celebrating black marriage could help to erase the negativity.
Marriage ministries strive because of a sense of community. Couples feed off of other couples. Being around other healthy marriages makes couples want to work that much harder at their own marriage, resulting in a community full of those willing to invest in family.
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Marriage in the black community is undervalued.
If you’ve seen few instances of marriages actually working, you too may be less likely or interested in getting married. A celebration of black marriage reminds black couples of how amazing marriage can be and the benefits that come from being married.
According to WeddedBlissinc.com, a few of the benefits are a more satisfying relationship, a better relationship with children and a decreased risk of substance abuse.
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Black couples are less likely to seek marriage help.
Black couples sometimes suffer in silence. Because many of us were taught not to air our dirty laundry, we sometimes keep quiet about our challenges. Suffering in silence and not seeking resources for our marriages is one of the reasons why many of our marriages fail.
Some think they are the only ones having that experience and might be embarrassed. The more we celebrate, talk about, seek resources and share our stories, the greater our relationships will be.
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Our history of self-love is suffering.
Black history was rich in love. There is absolutely nothing wrong with loving who we are and where we came from.
Our ancestors valued the impact of the village and recognized we had to love and support one another first. They took care of one another. But somewhere along the way, black families missed that love and the sense of pride that comes with being part of such a strong community.
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The misconceptions of black marriage are overwhelming.
We hear so many mixed messages about marriage, it’s no wonder we get confused. Yes, black people do get married. Educated black women can find a husband. And no, all black men aren’t marrying outside their race.
These statements are discouraging and not accurate. Black couples and singles need to hear more messages of hope as it relates to our marriages. Black Marriage Day continues to shine a positive light on marriage in general.
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Black families don’t often receive equal resources and information.
We don’t often know the benefits that come along with marriage. Some think cohabitation is good enough, when in fact, they aren’t considering health benefits and insurance.
Couples need help in finding resources. We have to be future focused when it comes to marriage, and occasionally, that is a bit of a struggle in our communities when we simply don’t know.
Of course, all marriages matter. But if others really knew and understood the difficulties we face as a community, more would be on board with supporting the goal of saving black marriages. Saying black marriage matters is more of a reminder to us, than it is to all others.
Black couples must be willing to support other marriages, seek resources and be the example for our children to pattern their lives after. This is one reason it’s so important to spread the word and celebrate Black Marriage Day on April 3, 2016.
BMWK, how will you celebrate Black Marriage Day this year?
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