Balancing how to be a good mom and wife at the same time can be very challenging. For many women, it often seems difficult to be great at one and still find the energy to be great at the other. And truthfully, the role that tends to suffer most is being a wife. Here, I’ll give you tips on balancing the roles of how to be a good mom and wife without letting either responsibility suffer.
How to Be a Good Mom and Wife | Tips for Married Women
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Balancing Motherly and Wifely Roles
I think it’s possible for us to develop a sense of balance that allows us to be great in both roles. Is it going to be easy? It’s definitely not, but I think it’s very possible. The mistake most women make is giving too much of themselves in an effort to make everyone they love happy. They end up operating on a nearly empty tank because they try to meet every need their child(ren) have, while they try to maintain a happy marriage.
Putting Yourself First
I have a crazy idea, though. What if you tried to put your own needs first? I know it sounds almost impossible. How can a mom and a wife possibly put herself first? Well, not only is it possible, but I also think it’s the only way to balance all of your roles successfully while keeping your health (and sanity) intact.
I do realize that telling women to put themselves first may seem cliché, but there’s more to it than simply putting your needs first. Surely, you can’t be a great mom and wife if you’re selfish, right? The bigger picture is whether or not you’re able to find a healthy way to balance your needs with the needs of your child(ren) and your spouse. Are there things you can do to make it all work well?
11 Tips to Become a Great Mom and Wife
Here are 11 tips that can help you find that elusive sense of balance you’re looking for, so you can stop ending your days feeling like you failed the people you love most. And instead, end each day feeling like you’re a good wife “and” mom.
1. Carve Out Time to Spend with Girlfriends Who Are in the Same Boat
I love all of my close girlfriends. But, when I’m struggling with issues about motherhood and being a wife, it’s nice to hang out with women who are experiencing similar struggles.
2. Talk Things Out with Your Spouse
If you feel like you’re failing yourself or your family, you need to talk to your spouse. It may seem obvious to you, but this man may not even know you’re struggling.
3. Make a List of 10 Personal Goals You Want to Accomplish by the End of the Year
If you focus your attention on what you want to accomplish, you’re more inclined to make decisions that make you put your needs first to reach your goals.
4. Get a Regular Babysitter
Whether it’s for a date night with your man or because you need to get a mani and a pedi, having a babysitter you trust is a must.
5. If You Lost Your Sexy, Get It Back
Moms are infamous for letting themselves go, both after marriage and after having kids. Don’t fall into the trap of being tired and letting yourself go. Maintaining your sexy makes you feel great (which makes you a better mom), and it makes your spouse “very” happy.
6. Plan a Romantic Getaway
It’s good for the kids to know how to have fun and be okay without mommy and daddy, and it’s great for you to rekindle your love with the man you said “I do” to.
It’s so simple, yet it’s so important. It makes you happier and healthier, and it ultimately improves the most important relationships in your life.
8. Spend Time Alone with Everyone Including Yourself
Going on dates with your spouse is important, but so is going on dates with your child(ren) and yourself. Taking that time to connect makes all the difference.
9. Show Your Kids That Dad Does a Great Job Too
One thing many moms do is to show their children they can do everything better than dad. It’s not intentional, but it happens. Children need to know that dad is more than capable of managing things if mom can’t and that his way might be different than mom’s, but it’s not wrong.
10. Consider Therapy, Coaching, or Counseling
Part of self-care is making sure you’re managing your emotional needs. If you’re feeling stressed, tired, and overwhelmed, seeking help is critical.
11. Always Pray
Pray with your spouse, pray with your children, pray as a family, and pray by yourself. Prayer works.
Here’a video about the experiences and advice of Aiyana as a wife and mom from Relationship Advice with Ayize and Aiyana Maat:
These tips on how to be a good mom and wife will help you keep a good balance between three important roles: a mom, a wife, and a healthy and beautiful self. This is indeed a challenging responsibility, but this is what every married woman should learn. It allows you to have fun with yourself while you take two other family duties at the same time. Apply these tips now and become a superwoman for your family!
What other tips on how to be a good mom and wife can you share with us? Leave them in the comments section below!
Up Next: How I Went From a Childish Wife to a Mature Wife
Editor’s Note – This post was originally published on January 10, 2014, and has been updated for quality and relevancy.
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Wonderful tips! I guess I’m on my way to balancing my life and my role of being a good wife and good mom. I do at least eight of these things already. Thank you Martine.
Thank you. This is a great article
busy mom says
Thanks.I’m an insecure African american woman. Im hoping to realize all my flaws in my realtionship and as a parent and stop criticizing others to male me feel like that makes me a good wife and mother. I have a long way to go. I keep pointing fingers at everyone else and minding what they do in their lives when I need to point one finger at me.
I am working on it. Nice article
Thank you for this article! I’ve been feeling lost, stressed and somehow depressed and can’t seem to find a way to find the right path to being a good with and mother. I put my child’s needs first and then my husbands then if there’s any time left mine. I don’t fix myself up anymore and basically have lost touch with my sexy side, I don’t feel attractive anymore. So aside from feeling like this I know in my heart that it’s not right to feel this way and want to change things for the better so I can be happy and be able to make my family happy. This article has put a different perspective to how I see things now. Thank you Martine
Hi Cece! Thanks so much for reading and for commenting. I am so glad the post offered some fresh perspective. Juggling the many roles we have can be really tough. I hope the tips help you create a happier life for YOU and for your family! Wishing you the best!
Thanks for the reminder I currently have a 2 month old and am getting married in a month I’m back in school trying to get my BS and working full time I’ve been overwhelmed stressed depressed feeling ugly you name it I’ve been sitting in my car after eating McDonald’s (which I did not need) and I’m so ready to change for the better I ask that you all pray for me cuz I really need it just asking God for strength and peace …thx again for the helpful tips and reminders gotta take care of me first !