A couple of weeks ago, I wrote a post titled “17 Questions Every Woman Should Ask Herself Before She Gets Married.” I wrote that post first because I firmly believe that before we commit ourselves to anyone, we really have to know who we are and what our issues are. Often times, we place all the focus on knowing our partner, and while that is incredibly important, it won’t do you much good if you don’t take the time to truly know who you are.
Marriage is serious stuff, and going into it blindly is not the best idea. The less you know when you walk into any situation, the more likely you are to face challenges. Asking your partner a bunch of questions may not always feel comfortable but you might as well get used to it, because if you plan to spend your life with this person, there will be many uncomfortable conversations ahead. You don’t have to hit your man with all these questions at once; now that would just scare any man away. Rather, take your time and cover these questions during your courtship.
I am certain that if you walk into your marriage knowing the answers to these questions (and being comfortable with the answers, of course), you have a much greater chance of creating a union that will stand the test of time.
Here are 17 questions you should ask your man before you decide to jump the broom.
- How important is having children? How long do you want to wait before having kids?
- How would you feel if you lost your job and I became the primary breadwinner?
- Are you expecting us to have traditional roles in our marriage?
- Are you at peace with the kind of relationship you have with your mother?
- What role do you see faith playing in our union?
- What are your ultimate financial goals for our family?
- How would you feel if I wanted (or didn’t want) to be a stay at home mom?
- What would you need to feel wanted and needed sexually?
- Would you want to manage the household budget or would you want me to do it?
- Do you have concerns about any of my family members?
- What are your career aspirations?
- Do you have any unresolved issues from past relationships?
- What frightens you most about marriage?
- Are you willing to go to premarital counseling with me?
- How much personal debt do you have?
- Do you provide financial support to any of your family members?
- What would you want our life together to look like 10 years from now?
BMWK, what questions would you add to the list?
well, I asked many of these. He was not honest about any of them. not a single one. Now i’m divorced, childless and broke and 34 and afraid of getting married again because people are liars. Asking doesn’t work.
Let God pick the next man for you. Your “Boaz” began to deal with all your past pain from the divorce & it’s circumstances. Be prepared so when God sends “him” you will be ready! You owe it to yourself 😉
Sorry to hear about your divorce but be glad that you don’t have a child with such a man that would’ve bound you to him for a lifetime. What God has given you is a fresh start and right here on this site you can learn so many things before getting married again. No, asking doesn’t help, I know for a fact. BUT…we must pay attention to the fruit someone is bearing and recognize a red flag for what it is.
Another question that should be added to this list is a person should know their partner’s HIV status. Very important!
There are over twenty sexually transmitted diseases, being far more common and affecting millions upon millions of people. You’d better ask about a lot more than just hiv.