As a working mom and wife, it sometimes becomes a bit challenging to make sure every role I play receives my full energy and attention. Although I’m usually wiped out after work, I know my 2nd and 3rd jobs have to also be completed. Children, unfortunately, don’t always understand a parent being too tired, or too busy. They want what they want, when they want it. No if, ands, or buts about it.
A spouse, on the other hand, of course is more understanding, but they too desire to have their needs met. It can be stressful trying to balance the two and someone may feel neglected. I am learning that it is possible to manage your life in a way that everyone on your priority list, feels like a priority. The tips below have helped me successfully divide my time between my husband and my children.
When your children are old enough to comprehend, they do need to understand how a marriage works, as well as how it survives.
Family date nights are a perfect way to combine your time with all of your loves. Starting the evening as a family and ending it as a couple is ideal. Movie night, game night, talent shows and family cookoffs/contests are excellent ways to enjoy some quality time. After a couple of hours of family fun, save up some energy, put those children to bed and enjoy couple time.
Explain to your children exactly why mommy and daddy need alone time. I remember my youngest daughter expressing how grateful she was, to have both of her parents in the same home, after seeing a few of her friends affected by divorce. I immediately took that opportunity to share with her how crucial it is that mommy and daddy make time for one another. This is why my husband and I need couple’s vacations and frequent date nights. Children, although it may be challenging to understand, also have to make sacrifices for the family, just like mommy and daddy. When your children are old enough to comprehend, they do need to understand how a marriage works, as well as how it survives.
Be completely present and don’t waste precious moments. Make sure your children and your spouse are receiving your undivided attention when you spend time with them. Parents have to be intentional about making every moment count. This includes putting your phone away, shutting down your laptop and turning off that TV to make space for quality time. My youngest daughter loves to give me a play by play description of who said and did what in school that day. It’s important to her that I listen attentively, ask questions and be completely engaged. As parents, we sometimes miss opportunities or take certain ones for granted, when it comes to quality time. Every moment is one to connect with our families. Dinner time, styling hair, morning routines and commutes, and helping with homework make for excellent quality moments to spend with your children. The same is true for your spouse. We must make every moment count. Don’t miss the chance to have quality conversations, and make time for intimacy with your mate.
Family is the foundation for everything. You don’t have to be the perfect spouse or parent, you just have to show up, pay attention and make every second count.
BMWK, how do you divide time between your spouse and your children?
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