I’ve been married for almost 9 years to a man I’ve been friends with for over 20 years. What we have isn’t perfect but it works. It’s perfect for us.
We’ve faced ups and downs, but we have always done our best to maintain a healthy, happy marriage. We figure if we consistently take small steps to make this thing work, we can avoid the need to take major steps one day.
Now, I wish I had some magic pill to give you that could make your marriage stand the test of time, but I don’t. I don’t think happy a marriage comes easily. But I also don’t think they are as hard to come by as people make it seem. Even when your marriage is in a funky rut, there are simple steps you can take to improve things.
And listen, your marriage doesn’t have to be in serious trouble for you to want to improve things. Sometimes you may just feel like you are in a rut. Maybe you feel like the romance is fading. Maybe you are both exhausted and find that connecting with one another is a struggle. Or maybe you just need to spice things up after years of being together.
So how can you improve your marriage while keeping things simple? Here are three marriage hacks that can help.
Put Your Devices Away
I have a love-hate relationship with technology. It’s amazing and it has helped me stay connected to friends and family while also helping me grow my business. But technology definitely has a dark side. If you don’t mange it well it takes up way too much of your time and it can interfere with the parts of your life that matter to you most. If you want to improve your marriage, pick daily moments when you both choose to disconnect.
Put your devices away, talk to each other, kiss each other, and just take a moment to remember why you married each other. Having a device in your hand (or within your reach) 24 hours a day is really not the healthiest thing for your lifestyle, and in the long run, it will hurt your marriage. This small decision can improve your relationship more than you realize.
Talk to Your Spouse Daily
Life is busy. I get it. You have kids and careers and family drama and it seems like there are never enough hours in the day to get things done. This is life for so many of us.
That’s why, unless you make a conscious decision to talk to your spouse daily, your entire day can go by without one meaningful conversation taking place between the two of you. In an effort to stay connected and keep each other in the loop about things that matter, set aside a time to chat daily. If mornings work, have coffee together and enjoy some quiet time catching up before the kids wake up. If lunchtime is better, try to schedule a phone conversation (or an actually lunch date) during lunch. If you are evening people, sit down and catch up over a glass of wine after the kids are tucked in. It doesn’t really matter when you do it; what matters is whether or not you do it at all.
Express Appreciation Daily
One of the biggest complaints most people have about their spouses is feeling under-appreciated. It makes perfect sense. No one wants to feel like they constantly give without any recognition for it.
READ: 3 Simple Ways to Show Appreciation to Your Spouse
Sure, you may not need a huge fuss every time you do something simple, but it’s still really nice to know that the people you love see you and acknowledge what you do.
Make it your business to say or do something daily as an act of appreciation for your spouse and what he or she does. Let her know that you see her. Tell her that you are grateful for everything she does. Show him that his thoughtfulness makes a difference in your life.
When you take the time to show appreciation, I promise you will see instant improvement in how you communicate with each other, how connected you feel, and how much you want to express your love for one another.
BMWK family, what are some things you do to instantly improve your marriage?