The beginning of July is always an important time for me. It’s a time when I pause and reflect on what the first half of the year has been like and what I’ve accomplished. When I reach this midway point I ask myself, is this where I thought I would be by now? The answer to that questions lets me know what’s next.
As most people do, I am sure you probably established personal and professional goals as we entered the new year. I hope you’ve made significant progress on both fronts, and if you haven’t, you certainly have plenty of time left.
But, when the year started, did you establish goals specific to your marriage? Did you decide what you’d like to see happen in one of the relationships that matters most in your life?
Setting goals for your marriage doesn’t mean you are in a bad space, or your marriage is headed for trouble. Setting marital goals actually means you want to continue to improve a relationship that plays a critical role in your life.
Without a vision and concrete goals, you are pretty much flying blindly and you probably won’t end up where you really want to go.
So instead of just waiting to see where this marital journey takes you, why not sit down and talk about where you both want it to take you in the next six months and beyond.
A discussion about the goals you both have for your marriage gives you and your spouse a chance to assess how you both feel about the current state of your relationship, and have and honest and open discussion about what you both feel should be next.
Here are 3 super simple goals you should set for your marriage (assuming you haven’t already).
Although incredibly simple in nature, time and time again I have realized that the simplest things in life often have the most meaningful impact. That said, here’s to simplicity.
1. Plan a weekend getaway.
I think so many couples—particularly couples with children—go way too long without spending time alone together. I have to admit that my husband and I are guilty of this.
Our schedules are packed, the months fly by, and we end up looking at each other wondering when the last time we chilled alone was. It can be crazy. So, although family vacations are awesome, I urge you to try and take a trip where it’s just the two of you.
Even if it’s an overnight experience at a local hotel, it will still have a positive impact on your marriage and you will find yourself wanting to do it more often.
Even if you don’t have the money to go away to the Caribbean for a week, do what you can with what you have… and enjoy.
2. Eat meals together at least 7 times a week.
Eating apart happens with such ease these days. Different works schedules and busy days can make eating apart the norm for so many couples. But there really is something to be said for breaking bread often with the one you love. Seven times may seem like a lot to some, but it’s not.
You can scatter them throughout the week (which is ideal), or you can eat all your weekend meals together, leaving just one more meal for the week. I think with some effort you may be able to do more than 7.
And even if your schedules are so crazy you are unable to hit a specific number, the most important thing is that you are trying to eat together a lot more than you currently do, because that quality time together really does matter.
3. Develop an appreciation plan.
I know this sounds so corny, but corny can be good. Taking a partner for granted is typically not intentional. Most of us just get caught up in the day-to-day madness of life, and we just forget to give our spouses what they need from us the most.
Wouldn’t it be easier to show your spouse appreciation if you had a plan? I think so.
Create a list of things you can do and say to let your spouse know you appreciate all that they do, and consider setting reminders in your schedule.
Of course, random acts of appreciation are pretty awesome, but if you create a plan and give yourself reminders, you will soon find that showing appreciation without those things will begin to happen with ease. Sometimes we need a solid plan just to get us on the right track.
BMWK family, what goals do you have for your marriage as we enter the second half of 2015?