Is the person you are dating looking like he or she may be the one? Do you feel the relationship is heading towards marriage? Well, before you start trying on wedding dresses and tuxedos, sampling wedding cakes and practicing your first dance for your wedding, there are some things you need to know before you say “I do.”
1. Your wedding will not reflect your marriage. Just because you have an expensive fairy tale wedding does not mean your marriage will be a fairy tale. Going to the courthouse does not mean your marriage won‘t be special or meaningful.
It doesn’t matter how you tie the knot, but rather, how you keep it tied after you say “I do.”
2. Your mate probably has some habits or behaviors you really don’t like. You may think he will stop leaving his clothes on the floor or she may start cooking dinner every night after you get married. Don’t deceive yourself into believing you will change your partner or the behaviors will magically disappear after you get married. Be prepared to deal with the annoying habits and behavior after you say “I do.”
3. You should be able to count on your mate for emotional support. I read somewhere that when you imagine yourself standing over the grave of a loved one and your mate is not the person that you see standing next to you holding your hand, he or she may not be the one. If your mate is not emotionally available to you because he or she blows off your feelings as unimportant now, there is no guarantee that they will do a 360 after you say “I do.”
So as you are considering tying the knot, give some thought about what you really need and want in a spouse. If your partner does not fit the profile, don’t waste his or her time taking the relationship further because it will only harm both of you in the long run. So consider these three things before you say “I do.”
BMWK family, what else should people know before saying “I do?”
I believe something else that needs to be discussed prior to marriage is each others goals…in addition to finances, as was already mentioned,you also have spiritual goals, career goals, child-rearing plans, etc that needs to be discussed. Little things that can turn into big things if not discussed early. If more people would invest more time in planning their marriage as they do planning their wedding, maybe, just maybe, the divorce attorneys would have to find a different line of work.
Marriage is a situation much like having a child. You don’t know, what you don’t know and there’s no way to intern first. Overall, the above are great things to consider before the commitment of marriage. A question that I would ask prior to the exchange of vows would be “What are the deal breakers?”. If we don’t have the ability to predict the future, at least we can give the other person a heads up on those problem areas that we bring to the relationship. It’s only fair that we share these (in advance of marriage) with our significant other so that they know our soft spots.