Previously we discussed the 3 Things You Should Always Tell Your Woman. I felt it pointed out some essential things that many times get overlooked by a husband. Naturally I decided the time had come to do the same with the wives. This list may seem like common sense to some, but you may be surprised how many husbands are not getting enough of this in their marriage. Many times the feelings of men get taken for granted, and what is needed by them emotionally, far too often gets completely dismissed. So here are 3 things I believe every wife should embrace telling their husband through their words as well as their actions.
That You Want Him
A man wants to feel desired by their wife. Nobody likes the feeling of just being a space filler in a marriage. It is very important for wives to find ways to say and show how much they want their husband. Not a husband, but him specifically. What I mean is that some men have been made to feel like their wife values being married more than she values being with him. This creates issues that will simply lead to bigger issues. It is a very damaging feeling to have, so a wife must assist in stopping that from happening. With that said she should be mindful of not showing desire how she sees fit, but in a way that he needs to receive it. That of course will depend on each man, and being willing to find out what he needs is a great step in the right direction.
That You Respect Him
If he doesn’t feel respected then he won’t feel loved. No man enjoys being in the position of constantly being undermined, belittled, and talked to any kind of way. It chips away at his manhood, and will create negative energy between him and his wife. Respect is needed for a successful relationship to exist. Some women may feel their lack of respect is warranted, but that doesn’t change the fact of how damaging it will be. Also, it must be recognized when it is in some ways unprovoked. Which typically happens when deeper issues have been held on to, and his past actions, not his current actions – are the real reason for the disrespect to be displayed. If there is truly an issue blocking the ability to express respect, then it must be addressed in a positive and loving manner. Because at the end of the day if there is no respect, there is no relationship.
That You Appreciate Him
One of the worst mentalities to have is the “they’re supposed to do that” mindset. You know what I mean? For example if as a husband he takes out the trash, provides for the family, and helps out with the kids. Instead of his efforts being appreciated, the wife rationalizes that no display of appreciation is warranted, because he’s her husband, and “he’s supposed to do that”. That kind of thinking completely ignores the fact that with every action he takes, he had to make a choice to do it. There are plenty of wives with men who choose otherwise.
Appreciation breeds production.
Therefore a lack of it creates a breakdown in any relationships which will lead to a decreased desire to do for their partner. So instead of thinking “he’s supposed to do that”, a wife should remind herself that “he chose to do that” and be willing to express an appreciation for his efforts.
Looking at this list, some people will probably say that women want these exact same things. Which is true, but I just decided to place the focus on the husbands with this one because people tend to forget how much men need this as well. Plenty of other things could have been listed, but this is a great place to start. A wife should embrace expressing more desire, respect, and appreciation in her marriage. It can truly pour into her husband what he needs, and contribute to creating the happy and successful relationship that is best for the both of them.
BMWK: Do you show appreciation to your spouse? How does he react?
I notice many times, that these posts, while they are helpful, informative and true. I see less focus on the woman’s needs and appreciation. It’s Black and married with kids, so means there are two people in the relationship, but i mostly hear about the men’s needs being fullfilled. But does not take away from the fact that they’re all great articles, but id like to see more articles catering the wives needs as well.
He wrote an article addressing the wives. Maybe you missed it.
Great article. We need to see more articles that shows what a women should do to uplift and appreciate a man. A man is to be appreciated and not disrespected, honored and not taken for granted, and given his just due for being the king/leader and not treated as if his presence is an option vs being mandatory. Too many women feel a man shouldn’t be appreciated for his efforts because they feel he suppose to do it when a woman demands a man to uplift her no matter what she does and gets upset if a man says that she is suppose to do it also. smile. Maybe one day, a man can get an article being uplifted without a woman making a post trying to take the focus off of him and wanting more uplifting for her. smile. Keep up the good work and I will keep reading.
When and where was it??
Because most of the times you will find articles telling the woman what she ought to do for the man. These same articles blame the woman. It would be interesting and a good thing, to find some articles written to both genders in the same article.
Women need to be shown that they are appreciated and wanted to and not for JUST SEX!!
And lastly, men. You are SUPPOSED to help around the house, especially when she works outside of the home like you do. And especially if you have children.
And women, stop agreeing with these articles for men. Support your gender.