I’m amazed at the amount of relationships and marriages that are being torn apart not because of infidelity or financial issues and not because of lack of communication with each other, but because of too much communication with others! Let’s discuss a few reasons why you should keep your relationship issues inside of your relationship!
While you may go home and kiss and make up, your friends and family will keep your mate under the same bus that you threw them under.
1. You may forgive but your family and friends won’t forget.
We often use the words “don’t judge me” yet we don’t realize that a lot of times people are only drawing conclusions from what they see and from how others say you behave. If all you ever do is come to your friends and family with negative things about your mate, then how can you ask them not to view your mate in a negative light. While you may go home and kiss and make up, your friends and family will keep your mate under the same bus that you threw them under.
If you are going to vent to your friends about the negative, be sure to do the same with the positive. If you don’t, then you can’t wonder why the tension is always high and why they give your mate dirty looks and bad mouth their name. Your friend and family alliance lies with you and the negative talk will become a self-fulfilling prophecy.
2. It will betray the trust in your relationship.
Your mate wants to know that some things are between you and them ONLY. Your relationship is supposed to be one of the places where you can be completely vulnerable, thus when every issue makes it outside of your relationship trust will eventually be lost. This will make it harder for your mate to want to come to you with any issues and eventually communication will break down. If trust is the foundation of the relationship, don’t make your mate feel insecure by telling all of your business to your friends and family.
MeluKnows says
This sound piece of wisdom needs to be shared with the masses! Amen!
Anonymous says
Thanks Melu! I appreciate the comment and please share it with others!
Patricia Heath says
I think this article is great and very wise and true.
However, what I find interesting are the comments. The article first of all was written by a man, and every comment by a man agreed, while some women agreed.
The first thing I thought of was, “but if you are having problems you need someone to talk to so you can vent, let off steam and maybe get some good advice from. Other women thought the same.
I think that’s an issue for us, not feeling alone in our problems and having someone to discuss things with. But I still agree with all of the points of the article.
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Diva says
I agree! This is how my fiancé and I run our relationship. If I have an issue with him I address it with HIM- we talk it out and move on and vice versa. No need to bring other people into our petty disagreements. I feel like if I can talk to my best friend about something that’s bothering me about my relationship then I should be able to say the same thing to the person I’m in the relationship with. I can’t be with someone I can’t talk to.
And some people don’t realize how annoying it is to have to hear about every little argument you have in your relationship. You mean to say you can’t solve minor disagreements without bringing other people into it? If I need to vent, I vent to my fiancé. If I feel like I can’t talk to him about something (which is rare) I question whether or not if it’s even worth the trouble. But this is just me.
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