3. Your united front will be split.
How can you be considered a united front if you and your mate never seem to be on the same page. While you may think y’all are united, it won’t seem like that to anyone else if all you ever do is go and tell other people when y’all are at odds. You should have your mate’s back and they should have yours and that should be evident to anyone on the outside looking in! You can’t tell all of the business and then wonder why no one takes your “union” seriously.
4. People can’t and don’t keep secrets.
I know your friends told you “they weren’t gonna tell anyone” and your family told you it was only between you and them, but we all know it doesn’t work that way. Friend A tells friend B and cousin X tells auntie Y and the next thing you know the entire neighborhood and family knows and the judgement begins. What started off as a small disagreement between you and your spouse has turned into divorce rumors that turn into even bigger disagreements.
Look, I know we all need someone to talk and vent to sometimes, but we have to be conscious about the impact it has when we share too much of our relationship business with others. Unless in the cases of abuse or someone being harmed, the best course of action is to consult an objective professional to help give insight or to moderate or to solve the issue inside your relationship between you and your mate!
When in doubt keep it in the house!
BMWK Fam – what are other reasons you shouldn’t tell your friends and family about your relationship issues?
MeluKnows says
This sound piece of wisdom needs to be shared with the masses! Amen!
Anonymous says
Thanks Melu! I appreciate the comment and please share it with others!
Patricia Heath says
I think this article is great and very wise and true.
However, what I find interesting are the comments. The article first of all was written by a man, and every comment by a man agreed, while some women agreed.
The first thing I thought of was, “but if you are having problems you need someone to talk to so you can vent, let off steam and maybe get some good advice from. Other women thought the same.
I think that’s an issue for us, not feeling alone in our problems and having someone to discuss things with. But I still agree with all of the points of the article.
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Diva says
I agree! This is how my fiancé and I run our relationship. If I have an issue with him I address it with HIM- we talk it out and move on and vice versa. No need to bring other people into our petty disagreements. I feel like if I can talk to my best friend about something that’s bothering me about my relationship then I should be able to say the same thing to the person I’m in the relationship with. I can’t be with someone I can’t talk to.
And some people don’t realize how annoying it is to have to hear about every little argument you have in your relationship. You mean to say you can’t solve minor disagreements without bringing other people into it? If I need to vent, I vent to my fiancé. If I feel like I can’t talk to him about something (which is rare) I question whether or not if it’s even worth the trouble. But this is just me.
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