What is a husband or wife left to do when their spouse decides to walk away from the marriage?
Whether it is a broken husband or desperate wife with tears in their eyes, the questions are the same – What can I do? “He just doesn’t want to be married anymore”. “She just wants to move on with her life”.
There really are no magic wands to be waved or magic words to be spoken to make a person in this situation feel better. There is no real plan to heal a marriage when, really, only one of them is still emotionally in the marriage. There is no counseling for a husband if his wife doesn’t want to seek help. And there is little advice for a wife if her husband’s heart is somewhere else with someone else. There really is not much if anything that can be done to get them back. Except…
Time For You
When he or she has made a sudden turn away from you, what we are left with is, “self”. And what a broken “self” needs is spiritual healing and growth. This is the time, the best time, to recommit our life and entire self to our relationship with God!
I was sharing this with a friend not too long ago. He was sharing that because of being raised in the church he had a good grasp on all of the church cliches and Scriptures to spout out in times of trouble. But when life, through your marriage, really kicks you in the gut, we need more than cliches and quoted Scripture. What we really need is the truth of God’s Word. It is one thing to say, “The Lord is my Shepherd”. It is altogether different when your marriage reality puts your heart in a place of brokenness and you truly need to see the “shepherding” hand of the Lord.
At times of real struggle we need to be real about our relationship with God. It is not enough to simply believe “in” God, rather we have to believe God.
Beyond church cliches and just repeating Bible verses, we have to examine our relationship with God. Click next page to see a few things we can do to develop our own relationship with the Lord and find strength to endure the reality of our marriage.
Zippy Wagara says
Thank you
Edmond Baker Jr says
Awesome words of wisdom! This happened to me twice & both times it wasn’t until we had children together?
Bklyn says
Thank you for this article I’m going through this right now. It’s not easy. I’ll take as much feed back as I can.
Anonymous says
I’m going thru the same thing, and its not easy. Idk how my marriage will survive. I’m praying. How can it survive?? Is this to make us stronger. Idk
Anonymous says
Glad it was right on time for you. Stay positive!
Anonymous says
Glad you found a way to endure – twice.
Anonymous says
I don’t know what to do. My current situation is traveling on “uneven paths” with my 21 yr marriage and 3 months into my job.
Felicia M. says
2014 marks 7 years divorced for me too. With what I was left to overcome from then to now, it was definitely the God in me and the strength He gave me to release, rejoice and rebuild – by keeping Him first! When I had to close my eyes more than I kept them open from the hurt, God guided my every step. Even though my ex checked out in the marriage, God was still there to check in with through every season as my life was changing. A lesson I reflect back on and share with others. I pray that every marriage situation leaves you empowered to STILL STAND STRONG!!!
LaShawn B says
I’m currently going through this situation. My husband left June 2014 and it has truly been rough.
Anonymous says
I don’t what to do, I feel lost. I lost my dad and than my husband walked out within months and we are still married, Why do i feel the need to hold on? We been married for 13 years and now he’s with a white woman and he say her mouth nothing like yours have no children so i feel alone scared i stay in the house because of what people will say . I said so many time to myself if i can go without my dad i can go without him it’s not easy .
LB says
I’m currently going through this! Thanks for the pointers! I’ve been with my husband for 23 years and married for 13. He just doesn’t want me anymore. All we do is fight over the stupidest stuff. Neither one of us has left the house, so it’s really tough being in a house with someone who don’t want you. I’m afraid to be alone.
Regina says
Ladies,I know your pain,that’s why I posted in Nov 2014. I went through the same thing with my ex-husband. He wanted me and another woman,and wanted me to be ok with it. I put up with that for 6 years, waiting for God to change his heart as He did mine, but he wanted none of God, only his selfish desires. But I tell you this, it was God and only God who helped me endure all of it. He was out in public with her and we live in a small community, totally humiliating. But God had me all the way. I set my face like flint toward God and He sustained and got me through it ALL. Was it hard? Yes, we had been together for 23 years, but married just shy of 20. So all I can say to you is to seek the Lord with all your heart, soul, mind and strength. Let Him be your husband. Remember, you are never alone, He is right beside you. He truly gives beauty for ashes. Joy will come if you choose to trust Him and Him alone.
Anonymous says
Great article am already doing those that tells am doing it well glory be to God…
Kimmie says
Oct. 31,2014, my husband of 26 years told me that he didn’t want to be married anymore. Said we had grown too far apart. He was involved in an emotional affair with a coworker and felt like he was in love. He was not happy with me and wanted out!! I was devastated. I cried. I basically went through several of the 5 stages of grief. It felt like he had died but I was still seeing him everyday. Our youngest child is in the 12th grade and he wants to wait until after graduation to leave. I have been a Christian since the age of 12, but I have really learned to trust in God while dealing with this broken marriage. We went to counseling & to a 12-week marriage seminar through church. He doesn’t want to do anything more. Doesn’t want any mention of the covenant that we made with God. I pray for him daily. I know that whatever happens, God has me. I use the 4 ways to find strength to carry on.
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