by Amy Morin,
There are many factors that can determine whether or not marriage counseling is successful. It leads to many people asking, why does counseling seem to help some people and not others? Counseling is certainly not an exact science. It also isn’t meant to be a miracle cure for all bad relationships. However, most people do benefit from counseling.
But there are couples who just don’t seem to benefit from marriage counseling. Despite attending counseling, their marriage just doesn’t seem to improve. It may end in divorce.
So what’s the difference between a couple who experiences success in counseling a couple who leaves counseling determining there is no hope? There are some factors that seem to interfere with the success of counseling.
Looking for Permission to Get Divorced
Sadly, many people enter into counseling looking for permission to get divorced. I’ve had couples come into my office that say, “I just want to be able to tell my kids we tried everything before we divorce.” It’s as if they just want to be able to put a checkmark on a checklist of “things to do before you divorce” so they can say “see nothing worked.” Other couples come in saying something to the effect of “see we can’t get along so we should just divorce, right?” They share about their problems and discuss how nothing seems to work. In essence, they are looking for a counselor to say “You’ve left no stone unturned. You might as well divorce now.” If you enter into counseling with an open mind about your marriage, it can help. However, if you are looking for permission to get divorced, you likely won’t leave satisfied. Counselors don’t grant you permission to divorce. Instead, they try to help you meet your goals. Photo Credit: Nicholas Copernicus
BMWK – Share with us some factors as to why counseling has not worked for you in the past?
Find out more about Amy Morin and her article Factors that Interfere with the Success of Marriage Counseling on The Marriage Counseling Blog (http://marriagecounselingblog.com)