From so many women I hear phrases such as, “Why can’t I find a good man”, “All men are dogs”, “Why does dating have to be so difficult?”. I’m going to leave the first two quotes alone for now but let’s answer the last one. Dating is a mess because sometimes YOU make it that way. I’m not saying that the other party involved doesn’t play their part in all of this. It’s just that I see so many women constantly set themselves up for failure but they only want to focus on the mistakes/bad intentions of that man. If you truly want to solve the problem then taking that approach isn’t going to help you.
BMWK – There are many things to consider but let’s start with these five. Check them out and then let us know if you agree, or if you can relate to any of them.
Read the followup to this post: 5 Mistakes Men Make With Dating
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PYT says
This could not have come at a more important time! I am 21 and still getting used to this whole dating thing.All of theses points I am so guilty of and see that such actions are putting me at risk of pushing away a man that I am truly interested in. I will definitely be putting this into practice and hope that he see’s my effort. Thank you Stephan and Black and Married with Kids for the post.
Relationship Coach says
I’m glad you found this helpful : ) and that you are embracing the message of the article. Your willingness to correct things and move in a positive direction will get you the results you deserve.
Tameca Brown says
You have certainly hit the nail on the head. At the end of the day its about self confidence and self love. Sometimes we have to step aside and examine and evaluate ourselves especially if it is that we find ourselves in the same bad situations.
Relationship Coach says
Thank you very much Tameca. It definitely boils down to confidence, self love, and a willingness to self evaluate. There is always room for improvement and we should continuously strive to be better.
Renee says
Great advice is offered in this article which is much appreciated. However, the one point that I can’t reconcile with is #1; maybe it’s my Proverbs 18:22 reasoning. I think that playing hard to get is subjective, because how available should a woman be if a man still has to figure out his interest level in her?
Relationship Coach says
Thank you very much Renee. In regards to #1, if a woman has to play hard to get for a man to be interested, then he likely isn’t interested in her but the challenge. Which if they get together will eventually fade and now you are left with two people who may not have a strong enough connection to have a great relationship. Making yourself available is not an issue when a man is genuinely interested or embracing the potential of a serious relationship in his life. If a woman follows #1 and it works against her, then he likely didn’t see her as much more then temporary fun anyway.
Ericka says
WOW. I can definitely identify with #4, with holding back and putting up walls. I certainly think of it as protecting myself. Geeez.. I’m learning. GREAT article!
Anonymous says
Well said sir!!! Love this article!
Anonymous says
This cannot be more true. I have a friend that thinks that a man will call everyday when he first meets you if he is into you. I tell her all the time, for many men like that it’s all about the chase and once you have been acquired, they lose interest. It almost always never lasts. Thanks for the male perspective. It’s telling me that my own self-evalutaion is right on track.
Jehan says
This article was exactly what I needed. Numbers #1, 4 & 5 were all me. Praying God will send the right man to me :-)!
Susie says
Love and totally agree with the following sentence in #4 “The issue wasn’t what you put out but who you chose to give it to. ”
Partly agree with #1, I’ve seen and heard of men chasing after women who don’t give them the time of day, so to speak.
L Ford says
Great Article!! Very informative and well stated. This dating thing can be frustrating so any positive assistance offered is Welcomed from me!
Tasha M. says
This article was forwarded to me from a friend. We just had a discussion on dating and I literally told her that when I meet someone, we go out on a few dates and then it fizzles. She asked…well do you call them? My response was ‘No’…they should be calling me. And this is the mindset I’ve had for SO long without realizing I’ve literally ‘been dropped from potential’. I would be the first to admit that I am a lazy dater but the older I’ve become I’m trying NOT to date as I have in the past. Great article.
Karma says
I find myself losing interest very quickly if the guy isn’t keeping me on my toes, filled with excitement or intrigued. I also realize that when a guy is between jobs he’s really not ready for a relationship & probably should focus more on self preservation than dating if he’s not able to afford to take a woman out on a date.
Lillian says
can’t see the other four mistakes.could only see the first one
lindiwe says
Am a mom of two boys en am married to my loving husband en we constantly arguing because he like going out with his friend an get drunk every friday an I don’t know what to do anymore. Plz help.
Relationship Expert says
lindiwe email me at [email protected] so we can discuss this further.
Andrew says
Good article. Women listen!
Anonymous says
Um dating a guy who dnst communicate um I waistng my time or wht