As human beings, we tend to hold on to what’s familiar and comfortable, even when it is hurting us. We know it’s not the right thing to do, but we also know that it can often feel like the easiest thing to do. And unfortunately, we too often let easy trump what best in our lives.
We always hear people say that relationships are hard work (I know I’ve said it many times myself). Although I clearly agree with the sentiment, I also fail to see the point in putting in the work if deep in your heart, you know that it is time to move on.
Maybe sometimes you aren’t clear on if moving on is your best option, but I think most of the time we are pretty clear on that fact. We just act like we aren’t because the idea of letting go to start all over seems like too much work. We start to wonder if maybe we are being too demanding and maybe we should just turn a blind eye to the issues that cause us to pause.
From my experience, ignoring our guts and living in the land of comfort is really no way to live. When you stay with someone even though you know you deserve better, it’s called settling and it says a whole lot about your self worth. It also means that you live in fear, deciding to stay with someone that’s “good enough” because you are scared you won’t find the right one if you wait. For the love of all things good in life, I urge you to wait. Settling is for the birds and it leads to regret. Who really has time for that?
So although you probably already know deep down if breaking up is in your best interest, I’ll go ahead and share this anyway. Maybe it can serve as the reinforcement you need to leave “good enough” because your truly believe, “the one” is out there waiting for you.
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I am going through a divorce now after being married 18 months because my husband and I dealt with nearly all five of those issues. The last straw for me was when he began to call me names like Jazabel! Here I am an educator! One who just won an educational award of excellence, being called names and being misjudged by my husband! He didn’t support my professional life goals or my spiritual work in church. I tried, but nothing worked. My anger became an issue because I found myself having to defend everything I did. I almost gave up everything to attempt to make him happy. I asked him to leave at the end of last year and he has since filed for a divorce. At one point, I almost considered trying to make things work and seek counseling for us, but it is deep within me that I realize that we never should have married in the first place. Your article has confirmed that this decision to sign the papers is definetely the right decision. Thank you and I have little intention of ever being in another love relationship until I am completely healed from this damage.