3. Pursuing Stage

The pursuing stage is where a boy becomes a man.  Yes, ladies I know you want a man, but you have to be patient as God develops him from his childish ways into the man God desires for him to be. I was very nervous when it came time to tell Natasha I wanted to get to know her more.  My pastor and two best friends had to really motivate me past fear to communicate that to her.  The fear of rejection is real, and some guys just settle for games, which is why you need to wait until he gets the courage to tell you his intentions.

The pursuing stage is very challenging for some men, because it is the stage which requires the most communication of intention.  A man should communicate to you he is pursuing you, or some may say, “I am very interested in you.”  Ladies, if he has not communicated his intentions with you, then please keep your boundaries up to guard your heart! The most attractive thing to a man of God is a woman who stands her ground with boundaries.

He hasn’t done anything at this stage to earn your physical touches or overly flirtatious text messages.  It is very easy to get caught up in a guys actions before he communicates his intentions.  Once I overcame my fear of communicating my intentions to Natasha, and she accepted to move forward then an overwhelming confidence came over me. From then on I was confident as I pursued her, trusting God to lead me. God’s covenant with us was not only communicated, but also demonstrated.

4. Dating/Courting Stage

The courting stage is where there has been an establishment of a committed relationship with the end of goal of marriage.  Our courting stage involved some of our most supernatural events.  From me meeting her family to her meeting mine, we both really enjoyed this time as we got to know one another better in a committed relationship.  There are many more details that can go into this stage, but I want to keep it short and sweet. Prayer is essential during this stage because you want to make sure the relationship is being steered by God.  Establishing boundaries is very key due to now you are committed to one another, and the thoughts of getting physical will come.  This stage is all about learning one another, more than touching one another.  Natasha and I planned to kiss for the first time after we got engaged.  Establishing that helped us stay focused on the purpose of courting which is laying a secure foundation for marriage.

5. Engaged Stage

He popped the question! This is where the rubber meets the road, and you are going to be having a lot of things to get done in preparation for the wedding day.  Enjoy this season more than rushing this season.  Pre-martial counseling, wedding planning, and finances will be your main priorities. Don’t forget you will only be engaged once, so again, enjoy it!

Married!

Marriage is not a stage, but a lifetime covenant! Welcome to the club!

These stages are pulled from how God led me as I pursued Natasha.  I will say it was one of the most supernatural processes I’ve ever seen.  God was in the back, front, and center of the whole thing.  Communication and boundaries are the most crucial factors in doing it God’s way.

BMWK, how was your courtship process?