One of the hardest things in life is moving on when the love is gone. Even moving on from anything that has been an important part of your life is also hard. Whether it’s moving out of your first home, leaving a job you’ve had for over a decade (and loved), or moving on from a relationship, the process of closing one chapter and preparing to start another is a tough stuff for people. Sometimes, we still hold on even though it’s not right anymore, and we don’t even realize it. Here, I will show you the 5 signs of you holding on even when the love is gone in a marriage.
When The Love Is Gone | Signs of Holding On
In this article:
- Moving on Is a Difficult Process
- Sign #1 – You Partner Is No Longer A Priority
- Sign #2 – You Feel Happier Whenever You Are “Not” With Him or Her
- Sign #3 – You Can No Longer Envision A Future Together
- Sign #4 – You Partner Has Hurt You in Ways You Are Just Unable to Forgive
- Sign #5 – You Believe There Is Someone Else Out There For You
Moving on Is a Difficult Process
Because moving on can be so difficult, sometimes, we don’t, even if everything around us is saying we should. We hold on to what’s familiar and comfortable, even when it doesn’t make us happy anymore. This is particularly true when it comes to intimate relationships.
When you have invested time and energy in building a partnership with someone, walking away is the last thing you want to do. But, we all know love does not conquer all (at least that’s what I believe), and time and energy invested are not a good enough reason to stay committed to much of anything.
Sometimes, despite all those factors, walking away is the best bet. You can’t keep holding on to what doesn’t work.
So, how do you know when the love is gone and what to do about it? How can you figure out if you are holding on to a relationship even when the love is gone?
Sign #1 – You Partner Is No Longer A Priority
One of the five signs that love is gone in a marriage is when you are in a committed relationship, your partner or spouse should be on your list of priorities. When they aren’t for an extended period of time, something is wrong.
You can’t build a happy life with someone if you have a laundry list of things that feel more important to you than that person does. If you partner is #15 on your list of priorities, please move on.
Sign #2 – You Feel Happier Whenever You Are Not With Him or Her
I like to be alone. I need time to decompress, so I can function at my best. My husband knows this, and he respects it. It’s one of the reasons our marriage works.
But despite my desire to have time for myself, I am not happier whenever I’m away from him. When I go out of town or my husband has crazy hours at work, I genuinely miss him. I miss talking to him and laughing with him and just being with him. If you feel like your time away from your mate is always much happier than your time with him, it’s a sign that the romantic love has faded.
Sign #3 – You Can No Longer Envision A Future Together
Well, if this isn’t a major sign something is wrong, I don’t know what is. You can be upset, or even disappointed with someone, while still seeing a future together.
But once you start envisioning your future without your mate, you have to ask yourself how that person just got bumped out of your vision. Why don’t they fit into the picture anymore? And more importantly, why are you still with someone whom you don’t see a future with?
Sign #4 – You Partner Has Hurt You in Ways You Are Just Unable to Forgive
I am a strong advocate for working through hard times and learning to forgive. I also know, however, that sometimes, a person we love can hurt us so badly, and we get stuck in this simple truth.
Forgiveness feels impossible. When you find yourself in a place where you just cannot move beyond the pain, after trying for a very long time, you have to ask yourself what’s next. Will you ever be able to move on with this person?
Sign #5 – You Believe There Is Someone Else Out There For You
A long-lasting, committed relationship comes from believing the person you are with is the person you should be with. When you believe otherwise, you have to ask yourself if you are holding on this person for all the wrong reasons.
You can claim to be in love with one person while believing that a better person is out there. That seems pretty unfair to you and your mate. You both deserve better than that.
Watch this relationship advice from Devon Franklin in The Real Daytime talk show:
When the love is gone, you can sense all these five signs in your relationship. Although it is true that moving on from something important in your life is difficult, when something is not working anymore, the best option is to let go. Prolonging your agony doesn’t help at all. Sometimes, the best thing for you and your partner is to let go.
BMWK family, what do you think are some other surefire signs that someone needs to move on when the love is gone? We want to hear from you in the comments section below!
Up Next: 5 Common Causes of a Sexless Marriage
Editor’s Note – This post was originally published on January 15, 2016, and has been updated for quality and relevancy.
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