My husband is the primary breadwinner in our home. I love and appreciate him for that and so much more. He provides for all of us, and I never question how important that is to him.
But I also know that our current situation can change at any moment. I know that a time may come when I make more than he does. I know that the possibility of losing his job is always on the table because nothing in life is guaranteed. But I also know that no matter what, he’s got my back and I have his. I know that he is a man of character and he will always find a way to provide for us—even when times get rough.
I also know that money matters. We have a mortgage to pay and kids to feed. But money isn’t everything. I know that if a woman judges her man only on his capacity to earn more income, something is wrong. Sure, you want a man who loves you and is able and willing to provide for you, but that can’t be all he’s worth to you. There has to be more. You have to want more. If you don’t, what happens when he loses his job? What happens if the money fades or you start earning more than he does? Where will your relationship stand?
So yes, money does matter, but here are 5 things that should matter more than how much your man makes.
Does he keep his word?
Money is nice but it’s definitely not what makes my husband an amazing man. What I love most about him is the fact that he keeps his word. If he says he will do something, he does it. Now it may take him a little longer than I’d like at times, but that’s another story. Your man can make all the money in the world, but if you can’t trust that he will do what he says he will do with that money, I don’t think his income matters all that much.
Is he responsible?
Making money isn’t as important as being responsible. A man that makes six figures can easily be worth less than a man that makes half that, if the six-figure guy is irresponsible when it comes to managing his money. Women should be less worried about how much her man is brining in and more concerned about what he actually does with the money he earns.
Can he keep his ego in check?
Ego-driven responses are typically damaging to any relationship. You need to be with a man that will make financial decisions based on what’s best for his family, not based on his ego. You also need a man that can embrace and accept a woman making more than he does because he sees it as a path for the entire family to thrive. When a man’s ego controls his actions, his income is of little importance.
Does he appreciate what you do?
Whether you are a stay-at-home mom or busy building an empire, you need a man in your life that sees everything you do and appreciates all of it. If your man is busy making money and he believes his role is the most important role in the home simply because of how much he makes, it can cause problems. Earning money is not the only way someone adds values to a relationship and that should be understood whenever two people are involved with one another.
Does he have a strong sense of self?
Money comes and goes, but if a man is clear on who he is as a person, he can handle the challenging times that may lie ahead. Many men also believe their self-worth is based on their ability to provide for their families, so it’s even more important for them to be clear on who they are and what else they bring to the table as partners and fathers. A strong sense of self will help your man navigate the good and bad times with integrity and love, regardless of how much he makes.
BMWK family, what do you think matters more than how much your man makes?