Even the best relationships run into problems from time to time. Maybe someone said something they should not have said. Or maybe it was something that needed to be said but it was delivered in a manner that left the receiver feeling upset or hurt.
It could even be about something your partner did or failed to do. Whatever the case, feelings get hurt, people get frustrated, and someone ends up realizing that maybe they messed up.
Moving forward and finding your way to a better place can happen. We just have to be willing to put in the work.
The doghouse is not a fun place to be and no one wants to stay there, even if they deserve it. Most of us want to make things right when we hurt the people we love most. Typically, the problem lies in our inability to figure our how we can fix things. We often aren’t sure how to make things right.
But figuring this out is critical. Making a mistake is normal. It’s expected. We all make mistakes. We all can do or say things that leave someone we love feeling wronged. Once that happens, moving forward is really about our ability to truly address what we did wrong.
Trying to “fix” things after you do something wrong isn’t always easy. Sometimes it’s downright hard. How can you move past what went wrong and find a way to make it right with the person you love?
Thankfully, hard doesn’t mean impossible. Moving forward and finding your way to a better place can happen. We just have to be willing to put in the work.
Below are 5 tips to help you move forward when you’ve done something wrong and you are ready to make things right.
Offer a meaningful apology
Anyone can say “I’m sorry,” but offering a meaningful apology is another story. When you apologize to someone you’ve wronged, you have to do it in a way that expresses that you own your part in what went wrong, and you respect and acknowledge the other person’s pain.
Also, a true apology requires you to ask your spouse if there is anything they need from you to help make things right. Your actions have to be in alignment with your words.
Take some time to evaluate what really went wrong
Nothing is worse than feeling like someone is saying sorry just because they think it’s what you want to hear.
Before you approach your spouse with an apology, take some time to figure out what really went wrong and what your role was. If you don’t understand those pieces, your apology won’t be genuine and your spouse will know it.
Do something unexpected for your spouse
The best apologies don’t only come in the form of words, but are accompanied by actions.
Don’t just express how you feel verbally, but take the time to show your spouse that you want to make things right.
Do something your know will make him or her feel honored and respected – something that will make your spouse feel special.
Whatever you did, just own it
Please don’t make excuses or try to place blame on the other person. When you know you did something wrong, your focus needs to be on what you did wrong.
It doesn’t mean your spouse didn’t play a role. It simply means that you are taking full ownership over the role you played.
Truly appreciate your spouse’s perspective
You don’t have to agree with someone’s point of view to respect it. Even if your spouse is experiencing pain over something that you just don’t get, their pain is real and you have to honor that.
Showing respect and appreciation for how another personal feels is critical if you want to right your wrong and move forward in your relationship.
BMWK family, what do you to move forward after you’ve done wrong by your spouse?