by Charli Penn-Watkins
In my line of work, I meet a lot of great husbands and the wives who adore them. Over time, it’s not hard to pick up on a pattern among these men “” especially when I chat with other wives about why they chose the men they’ve married and what qualities in their husbands have most shaped their marriage. For all those single women out there who often wonder what type of man they should marry, or how they will know if he’s The One they’re meant to spend forever with, this list is 100-percent for you. It has been prepared with love and careful consideration. It’s based on my own personal experience as a wife, those of the many wives I’ve encountered throughout my career as a Weddings and Relationships Editor, and the observations I’ve made about the great husbands I’ve met or bumped into over the years. It doesn’t have all the answers, but I promise you, it will at least have some of those you seek. Read on, ladies.
THE PROVIDER
He puts family first, always. He’s a selfless man, who lives to please those he cares most about. He’s the kind of man who can work two jobs in his sleep, always has a side-hustle in mind to earn more money, and guards his savings with his life. He can’t rest until he knows the ones he loves are okay. He strives for perfection at home and in the office. Work life balance is very important to him, but if missing time with his loved ones means a better life for them, he’s always game to put in the overtime and take one for the team. Words like “no,” “can’t,” and “impossible,” are just not in his vocabulary, and when he hears others use them, it only increases his devotion to the task at hand.
Why He Makes a Good Husband: Marriage is the start of a new family; your family. You will both want to provide for the family you create together, and it’s imperative that you’re partners with the same goal in mind. That said, there will be times when one person cannot do as much as the marriage or family requires ““ such is life. Marrying a natural born provider will be a huge plus when the scales in your marriage tip, as they inevitably will at different points along the way.
THE ROCK
At your weakest moments, his strength keeps you stable and inspires you to push through. He isn’t immune to pain or frustration, but he does handle it well, and he knows how to pull himself out low places. He’s the kind of man who never misses your call when he knows you need to get something off your chest, or better, just a friend to be there for you. Speaking of chests, his is always there for you to lean on, squeeze, and find comfort in when it feels like only a hug will do.
Why He Makes a Good Husband: He’s loyal, devoted, and a true pillar in the world of the woman he loves. This is the perfect recipe for a loving husband that you can count on through thick and thin; what woman doesn’t dream of marrying one of those?
THE CRITICAL THINKER
There isn’t a problem, big or small, that he isn’t itching to solve. He’s a quick, solid, thinker, who hates to be backed into a corner. He doesn’t just see the problem in front of him; he sees a roadmap of the many solutions available to him and takes his time as he determines the best way to get there, or the course of action he must take. He is patient, because he has to be “” rushing things is rarely the answer and he knows this. He’s diligent, focused, and considers himself a mental Olympian of sorts.
Why He Makes a Good Husband: Marriage is truly beautiful, but it comes with its share of problems, and its rough patches. Happier times aren’t always just around the bend “” getting there may require a detailed plan and thinking smarter not harder. He will make a great team player during the moments where the only way to win is to work together, and trust me, those moments can and will arise in marriage.
Read the other three “types” of guys who make great husbands at Man, Wife and Dog blog.
Charli Penn-Watkins is the blogger behind Man, Wife & Dog. A newlywed that’s blogging her way through all the ups and downs of marriage, Charli is also the relationships editor on Essence.com. Check her out on Twitter at @ManWifeDog.
ManWifeDog says
Thanks so much for sharing my piece!
Mjonson says
I love hard-working and dedicated men! Who know the way out of any situation!
Bossyshasta says
I think my baby is all of these
Colabena says
I agree. Thanks for putting this in words we can all see and save. Many young girls & grown women need to see this.
Nayetteg says
I’m blessed that my hubby has all of those traits! He’s Amazing!!
Omolara kim says
I guess having all the qualities will be triple great… but there must be a balance…
Beth says
This is SO ACCURATE. My Husband has all of these characteristics and I thank the Lord for him. I am truly Blessed to have been with him 25 years, and as my Father used to say “Good Lord Willin N The Creek Don’t Rise”, we’ll see 25 more. Love you hun!
Anonymous says
I’m thankful for a husband who is all of these things and more. I always jokingly call him a Renaissance Man because there are few things he cannot do – and if he discovers one, it won’t be one for long because he’s going to figure it out!
Thank you for reminding me to focus on what’s great about the man that God has blessed me with.
Gee Renee says
Thank you God for blessing me with Levi Barcourt, a husband who posses all 5 traits AND is also an amazing father & pianist.
Dale J. Rodriguez says
This article was really good confirmation for me. I have been making a lot of positive changes in my life as far as women are concerned, and after reading this, I realize I am a combination of all 5. I just did not know what I had when I was ignorant. I am still a Work in Progress.
Sandra says
Well said!! What attracted me to my husband was his character. I looked at him and knew that he would have well behaved children. We have 6 great children. I was told that the man is 60% of the make up of the child. So I chose wisely and we have been married for 25 years.
No Name says
I thought I was one of the lucky one’s, When I married. He was the perfect provider,protector and I guess under all that I never really paid attention to the drug abuse. We dated for 2yrs but, didn’t starting living 2gether until 6mo before the wedding. So,now divorced for 2yrs. I’m still keeping my fingers crossed to one day meet Mr. Right.
Marsha says
Hi No Name
I am sorry about the drug abuse. I found myself in a similarly surprising situation, although we did not married. The man seemed to have everything I could desire – except that his drug use was more important to him than a relationship with a woman.
It was sad and dispiriting to come to terms with this after nearly 4 years. I know now that is why he talked about marriage but never followed through.
He knew he couldn’t do it. Marriage is a covenant between 2 people. The drugs are a separate entity – like a 3rd person. I learned to stay far away from men who even talk about recreational drug use. They are generally far more involved than they suggest.
In my case, the man flat out lied to me when I first asked him if he used drugs. Second big lesson to me: watch more than ask. You will get a truer picture if what the man is up to.
Good luck to you and to me in the future.
Thoughts says
If I knew then what I know now. Life would be different.
Willie Holyfield says
Are these 5 types of husbands the “spiritual” head of the homes, presenting their family to the Lord (Jesus Christ) everyday, and is the Lord Jesus Christ the head of the husband?
joyce says
my husband is the head of our home and he’s all theses..a very godly man too.
MelodyRenee says
All of these qualities are great, but it says nothing of the heart. I would like to see what spirtiual qualities we should look for in a man. That is a man my heart desires. I had a man with most of these traits and he was argumentative, full of strife, and anger, and had a lot of anger towards almost all of his ex girlfriends. I had to walk on eggshells too when talking to him, because he found something wrong with nearly EVERYTHING that wh said. He knew how to make money and he was a great thinker. He just did not have the kind of heart that a woman need.
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Anonymous says
I didn’t realize how special my husband was until reading this. He’s a true provider. Always puts his fAmily first.
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Raicoll says
Im am SOOO blessed! Thank you God for bringing my husband into my life. My best friend. Our one year anniversary is next month!!