I know, we really shouldn’t be responsible for another person’s self-confidence. Each individual would typically handle the confidence department on their own, hence the word “self”. However, there may come a time in your marriage when you have to reassure your spouse that you’re all in, that there is still a physical attraction and desire.
It may seem confusing to some, but for a spouse who’s doubting everything about themselves, your encouragement might be necessary. A lack of confidence affects our job performance, the ability to connect with others and the intimacy in our marriage, to name a few.
Some of the issues that affect our confidence most after we get married are weight, age and illnesses that cause certain physical alterations. While your partner may not know how to handle those life changes, you can be supportive in helping them regain what they may have lost.
Here are 5 ways to help your spouse feel more confident.
Compliment your spouse. Flattery does get you everywhere. Being told that you are sexy or beautiful is exactly what most of us look forward to hearing from our spouse. Who doesn’t want to know that they still have “it”?
Keep your promises and do what you say you’re going to do. Insecurities sometimes come from disappointments and a lack of trust. Your spouse needs to know they can trust you to honor your marriage and treat him/her as you should. Whenever they have to second guess you, they begin to second guess themselves.
Make your attraction obvious. The way you look at your spouse and touch them, can increase your partner’s confidence. Words are powerful, but actions say even more. Love on your spouse, physically. Touch, rub, and squeeze those parts of your spouse’s body that turn you on the most, frequently. Act as though you can’t keep your hands of off him/her. Surprise them with kisses and be sure to pay a little extra attention to those body parts your spouse may have been most concerned about.
Don’t judge what you may not understand. It might seem odd that your partner even has certain insecurities. But believe me, they would also rather not have this experience. Who wouldn’t want to feel completely comfortable in their own skin and love everything about themselves? Sometimes those insecurities aren’t a choice, but a result of something relating to their past. We must be sensitive and search for ways to gain an understanding first.
Be vulnerable and share with your spouse where you might also feel insecure. This will remind your partner they aren’t alone. It makes certain life experiences easier when you know someone else can relate to what you’re going through.
While it may not be your “responsibility” to make your partner feel confident, it is an opportunity to demonstrate what true love and commitment are all about. The one thing our spouses should always be sure about is the strength of their marriage.
BMWK, in what ways have you had to make your spouse feel more confident?