When the wedding bells ring, do the flames of marriage start to flicker out? Well, that is completely up to you. Only you can keep the fire and desire of marriage fresh. It’s a choice. The effort put into the courtship before marriage should continue once the wedding bells ring. Ten, 20, even 30 years later, the fire should still be blazing. The passion should still be alive.
Courtship – “the act of paying attention to somebody with a view to developing a more intimate relationship”
This online definition is perfect for describing a marriage relationship. With a desire for a more intimate relationship comes the desire, the need to continue the courtship. Courtship has fire written all over it.
Before you were married, maybe she really appreciated a single rose left on the seat of her car, waiting there for her to find it. Now she may simply like her coffee made before she gets out of bed each morning. Perhaps he enjoyed seeing you in a certain pair of jeans, so you wore them often and bought others in that same style. Now, he really just likes seeing you come to bed in that little satin number you got at the store.
Before marriage, he opened the car door and sent her cards in the mail just to say how much he loves her. She left little notes in his briefcase and was always ready on time because she knows he hates to be late. You both liked to read together, intelligence was sexy.
Effort was put into pleasing one another. The desire to see each other happy kept things fresh. It was not the big things, but the little things that meant so much. You continually wanted to get to know each other better. The fire was hot enough to melt steel.
Once the wedding bells ring, this same fire should continue to burn. Read these 5 strategies to keep the fire going well after the wedding bells ring and adapt them to your marriage:
- Never stop learning one another. To think you have learned all there is to know about your mate because you have been together so long is a trap. Don’t fall into this trap. Stay on top of exploring the depths of your mate.
- Schedule to spend time alone together. It would be nice to take a vacation with the kids and then another with just the two of you. If this is not yet possible, find 30 minutes here and there. See the article titled 10 Ways to Get Alone Time with Your Mate When You Have Small Kids for ideas.
- Know what sexy means to your spouse. Know it and then carry it out. Sexy in your marriage is not defined by the pictures on the television or in magazines. Sexy to your mate is what turns them on, puts a spark in their eye, or makes their heart skip a beat.
- Reminisce over the good times. In a busy world with everything and everyone competing for your attention, take time to reminisce over the joys of the past…your favorite date, the day you first met, a funny moment shared. Recall the love that brought you together in the first place. Remembering the good times is like stirring up the flames and standing back to watch them blaze.
- Laugh together often. Laughter does the heart good. It’s like medicine. It brightens the day, keeps things lighthearted, and relieves stress. This is from my personal experience, this is not a medical report. Try it for yourself and see what holds true for you. Laughter lightens the mood and puts a smile on your face. What relationship couldn’t use more smiles and less stress? Tension and stress suck oxygen out of the air. Fire needs air to survive. Laughter just may be the breath of fresh air your relationship needs to keep the fire alive.
The fire of marriage is sexy. Take these 5 strategies and make an effort to keep the fire of your marriage burning long after the wedding bells ring.
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