by Nadirah Angail
Sometimes, you can’t contain it. Sometimes, the problem seems so big and the emotional response is so great that you just have to call a friend and let them know about the grand showdown that just occurred between you and your husband.
They don’t always help, these conversations, but we have them because they make us feel good. We like the release we experience when recounting the story, being sure to highlight all our good points and all his bad ones. We like the comfort we get from our friends who reassure us that he is the one with the problem (not us).
We don’t always like, however, the repercussions of these conversations, which have a way of increasing the divide between already-feuding couples. For that reason, we must be cautious.
There is nothing wrong with seeking marital advice or getting another perspective on an issue, but we must never forget our duties to our spouses. Husbands and wives should be garments for each other. We must guard each other’s feelings and reputations in the same way we’d guard our own. That doesn’t change just because we’re upset. Consider the following when discussing your relationship with others.
BMWK — How do you feel about discussing your marriage with others?
Nadirah Angail is a Kansas City-based writer and marriage and family therapist (MFT). She has published two books and maintains a blog that focuses on relationships and women’s issues. She’s a little bit obsessed with green smoothies, natural hair and Lifetime movies. Connect with her on Twitter and Facebook.