“This baby is kicking your butt!” I swear I tell my wife this about once a week now. And if you don’t know, we have our first baby on the way! As her “tummy” grows (I guess I sound more sensitive if I say that instead of stomach or belly) it’s starting to hit me that THIS IS NOT A TEST!
It seems like just yesterday we were two kids in college crushing on each other and now we are about to be parents! Well, since it’s my first, BMWK Fam I need some advice! Can you help me?
1) What if this child turns out to be a little monster?
I’m sure no parent has a child thinking that bundle of joy will turn out to be a belligerent, smart mouthed, devious little hell-raiser. But, I’m sure the kids we know like this belong to someone! Many may not admit it, but I would be lying if I didn’t tell you I’m a little scared that no matter how perfectly I try to raise this child, it could still turn out to be the exact opposite of what I expect. Y’all just pray for me!!
2) What if it’s a girl and she decides to choose the deadbeat guy as a mate just to spite me?
Look…healthy relationships are what I do and what I promote. But I do have this fear that my child might be the “preacher’s kid” who tries to prove all of my coaching wrong! Man listen, I can see it now, “Daddy you think you know it all but he’s different!” If it’s a boy, I can hear him saying now “But dad I love her! I don’t care if she has been divorced 5 times and has 8 children and is 19 years older than me!” Somebody just save me now and teach me some patience.
3) What if my children are sickly like me?
I was notorious for being the sick and injured child, and even now my wife says I’m the “oldest 30 year old she knows” because I’ve always got some health ailment going on. I just pray that doesn’t come back out in my genes! I don’t know how my mom found the number of vacation and sick days to accommodate my asthma, allergies, and injuries. I might need to seriously go ahead and just start saving up days now….geesh.
4) What if my child is getting bullied?
FYI…I will fight a child. Next subject!
5) What if my child struggles in school?
I would like to think that my child might have some “smart” genes, but I’ve seen plenty of kids with smart parents that still struggle in school. The societal stigmas that come with that are enough to make me want to start tutoring while the kid is in my wife’s tummy (there’s that word again). No one wants their child to be labeled or to have a rough time with learning. I want our child to have the best chance at success, so YES the thought scares me a little. Guess I’ll start contributing towards that tutoring budget now.
6) What if this child puts a strain on my marriage?
Listen kid…my wife was here before you, so you need to know her place in my life and my place in hers. Before you, I was her “baby” so know your role kiddo! One thing that my wife and I will strive to do is love, cherish and support our child with all that we can, but we know that we are husband and wife before we are mom and dad. This will be necessary for us to keep a strong foundation for our family to grow upon.
The truth is that there are a million daddy scenarios that go through my mind as I get closer to fatherhood. But more than anything, I’m excited! I’m excited about the next chapter, the gift God is giving me, and the opportunity to impact something that is bigger than me! Salute to all of the great fathers out there and ladies if he’s a great father, take some time today and let him know it!
BMWK Daddies, how did you feel as a first time father?