Making the decision to seek outside coaching or counseling to improve a relationship isn’t easy. It actually requires a great deal of courage to admit something is broken and take action. Honesty is a key ingredient in a healthy marriage, but it’s also very necessary in healing a damaged partnership. The counseling that works the best usually comes as a result of both partners being completely honest, vulnerable and willing. Couples must properly prepare for a coaching or counseling partnership. They both must be on the same page in terms of the results they desire as a couple. In order to transform a challenged relationship, couples should be prepared to discuss the following:
1. The reason relationship help is being sought. There are several reasons individuals seek professional guidance. Whatever that reason might be, the couple must be transparent. Acknowledging the cause for making that call brings an understanding to all about the work needing to be done.
2. The results desired. Couples must start with the end in mind. Knowing the overall relationship goal keeps both partners solution-focused. In addition, both must also be willing to take action.
3. Why you agreed to see a relationship professional. It’s one thing to know your partnership could use some help, it’s absolutely another to do something about it. Many couples, unfortunately, choose to suffer in silence, quietly hoping the marriage will magically improve. The couples that decide on coaching or counseling are really putting forth the effort toward change. The reason behind agreeing to get help can be quite powerful.
4. Why your spouse agreed to see a relationship professional. Just as the above states, our spouse being in agreement on seeking help is a huge plus and further confirms you both might be on the same page in terms of improving the relationship.
5. What you contributed to the relationship challenge. This is usually the most difficult for couples, but the most necessary. Being honest about the role we played is a huge plus and impacts whether or not couples will achieve those relationship goals.
6. What your spouse feels as though he/she contributed. As stated in the above, our partners must also take ownership of what part they played in where the relationship has gone.
7. What actions will be taken after each session. The great thing about coaching is that it’s an action oriented profession. After each meeting there should be action items for the couple to take on in between sessions. These small actions ultimately lead to big results.
Preparation is the key to a successful coaching or counseling partnership. A relationship professional can use all of the above to help you and your partner accomplish your desired outcomes.