One of my favorite sayings is, “I can do bad all by myself.” I love that saying because it is so true. I mean, who needs a partner if all that person brings is grief. My heart aches when anyone I know is in a relationship that seems to drain them, while giving very little in return. Relationships should be a give and take experience, leaving both parties happy.
I believe the only relationship worth having is a healthy one. When you invest time and energy into being with someone else, you should feel like the partnership makes you a better person and enhances your life in many ways. If you feel otherwise, you have to wonder why you choose to stay involved.
And of course, walking away from an unhealthy relationship is not always easy. Maybe you have kids and you want to try and work things out for their sake. Or maybe your self-esteem has been damaged and you believe this person is the best you can get. It’s even possible that you may feel like leaving could put you in harm’s way because your spouse is abusive.
If you are having a hard time determining if your relationship is healthy or not, here are 7 major signs that you are in an unhealthy situation.
You feel stuck.
A relationship should not feel like a trap. When you’re involved with someone, you should feel free to be yourself. If you feel unhappy and restricted, it’s not a good sign. When someone feels stuck in any situation, it’s a surefire sign that the situation is an unhealthy one. Healthy relationships don’t make you feel stuck.
You never feel heard.
Healthy communication is so important and when you feel like what you have to say doesn’t matter, it leads to frustration and resentment. It’s one thing to feel like you aren’t being heard from time to time, but if you feel like you are never being heard; there is definitely a problem.
You are uncomfortable.
Have you ever been around a loved one who seems uncomfortable around her own partner? I have and it makes me feel uncomfortable. A healthy intimate relationship is one where you feel free to be yourself at all times. You should never feel like you are walking on eggshells around someone who should be bringing out the best in you.
You lie to keep the peace.
When you lie to your partner consistently because you want to keep the peace, there is a major problem in the way you communicate with each other. Whether your lies are about finances, your whereabouts, or something with the kids, having to lie all the time to avoid fights is no way to live.
You won’t tell your family and friends how he really treats you.
When you start making up stories about how your man really treats you, it’s a sign that the treatment you are receiving is less than you deserve. You should be able to honestly share how your partner treats you. Being dishonest about it typically means you’re embarrassed because deep down you know you deserve better treatment.
You don’t trust your partner.
There isn’t much to say here. Without trust a happy, lasting relationship won’t happen. If you don’t trust your partner, your situation isn’t a healthy one.
You have fantasies of how good life would be if you two were apart.
If you spend more time dreaming about life without him than you do dreaming about a future with him, your gut is telling you that something is way off, and this relationship isn’t one that will last.
So what do you do when you realize that your relationship is unhealthy?
You have to determine the extent of your relationship struggles. If every item on this list spoke to you, I think you know what needs to happen. But if you can only relate to a few of these items, and you truly believe your relationship has a shot, you have to take action.
Communicate with your partner and consider going to counseling or therapy. An unhealthy relationship won’t become a healthy one on its own. You and your partner have to be willing to put in the work
BMWK family, what do you do if you feel like you are in an unhealthy relationship?