By: Chevonne Harris – Jet
Finding love ain’t no crystal stair. In fact, for many of us, it’s a stack of cracked milk crates leading to late nights at the office, Saturday night twist set tutorials and the always heartwarming text, “wat r u wearing?”
Naturally, you would think with God on our side, finding “bae” would be pretty simple, but dating while Christian often comes with its own set of challenges.
Don’t let the Word Network fool you, there’s more to church girls than Hillsong, subtle cleavage and taco night at the Singles Ministry meet-up. So, for all the single saints tired of explaining why tonight’s date is not an audition forAmerica’s Next Top Husband, this one’s for you.
1. Intimacy versus sex; there is a difference.
Everyone knows the Golden Rule for single Christians is no flings without the ring. Because closed legs are a pretty big deal in the church world, alternative courses of action must be taken when it comes to getting close to the opposite sex.
Depending on the level of sanctification, booty taps may be okay, but at some point an authentic emotional connection must be made while both parties remain clothed.
2. There is love outside the sanctuary.
Of course, the dream is to find a mate who loves the Lord and appreciates the value of a new Easter outfit, but who’s to say they can only be found in the church?
If the only options for love resided solely within the four walls of the sanctuary, we may as well grab a cat and a Mumu now. Take away the married men, the sexually ambiguous and the wanna’ be players, and we’re basically left with divorced deacons and the resident church perv. We’re good.
3. You can keep, embrace and flaunt your sexy.
Whoever said pulling out a freakum dress wasn’t an option for believers was truly mistaken, in addition to being fashionably blah.
Go to any Black church on Sunday and you’re liable to see more bedazzles, glitter and heels under one roof than in Prince’s closet. Contrary to Sister So-and-So, falling in love with Jesus does not mean we’ve ended our relationship with swag.
4. Pimpin’ ain’t easy and neither is celibacy.
We luh God; we really do. But there are certain places a Bible can’t reach. Now, is that a pass to call Tyrone? Not quite, but we may have thought long and hard about it, sent a few texts and maybe turned the car key to see if there was enough gas to get from point A to point B in the event we decided to swing by.
Yes, abstinence and celibacy reign supreme but thoughts happen (followed by prayer, gym time, Chipotle and a gallon of ice cream to erase any visions of #NetflixAndChill).
5. Ruth and Boaz were cool, but if possible, we’d prefer to not wait 40 years to find bae.
Yes, good things come to those who wait. He may not come when we want Him…insert other clichés, but we’ve officially entered cuffing season and Saturday nights get a little lonely sometimes.
Waving an empty hand as you channel your inner Beyoncé sans the leotard always makes for a good time with girlfriends, but there are also moments — moments of too much idle time where a woman wonders when love will pass her way.
Not lust, like or one night, but that Olivia Pope, Nina Mosley can’t eat, can’t sleep, get my hair my wet in the rain kind of love. While everything happens for a reason and in its due season, sometimes a girl wonders which is coming first, the season or pre-menopausal hot flashes.
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