When your marriage is in a good place you feel good and you’re optimistic about your relationship and its future. But oh boy…when it’s not so great, you probably question and second guess everything about your union. You may have even wondered if you married the right person.

Whenever you end up in that space, here are a few things to remember.

Why you fell in love the first place.

Remember when you fell in love? You probably couldn’t get your spouse out of your head back then. Maybe you thought about them almost every hour. Do you recall what your date nights were like? There was, more than likely, a lot of excitement and anticipation, right? You were in love and the thought of that other person just made you feel some kind of way, I know.

At that time, all felt right in the world and your partner could do no wrong. Those memories and why you fell in love initially are so important to hold on to and use…especially when you need to remember why you’re still there.

It’s OK…You’ll disagree.

Sometimes, the realities of marriage prove to be too much. When life kicks in, it can be overwhelming for couples who didn’t expect life to actually kick in. Managing a household, raising children, juggling a career and paying bills will have you stressed. Unfortunately, what most couples do with that stress is the root cause of many relationship challenges. Life can be hard. Your marriage will experience life. But, know that it’s okay and be prepared to love and invest in your marriage all the more.

Your needs will change and so will you.

Couples grow in marriage. And sometimes what you liked early on is no longer appealing to you. That cute kind of annoying thing your spouse did in the beginning is actually hella annoying now. It happens to the best of us. This is why communication is one of the key ingredients in marriage. When things change, discuss them. Don’t leave your partner clueless.

Read: Sick and Tired of Being Sick and Tired: 4 Ways to Avoid a Mid-Marriage Crisis

Your spouse is human and so are you.

I think we, sometimes, forget that everyone is flawed. We make mistakes and veer off course occasionally. This is why forgiveness in a marriage is so critical. When couples realize that neither partner is perfect, it becomes much easier to apologize, forgive and move forward.

Couples, don’t let the stress of the world have you second guessing the decision to marry your spouse. Life happens.  And when it does, prepare yourself and remember you are stronger and better together. You were drawn to each other for a reason. Remember that most when times get tough.

BMWK, what are additional things to remember if you’re still wondering if your spouse is the one?