As a Relationship Coach, I’ve heard countless couples complain that romance and intimacy slowly but surely seems to just (poof) disappear in their relationship. When people fall in love and more importantly when they decide to commit to one another love and romance are at their peak.
That euphoria leads people to believe that once they ride off into the sunset of commitment that fire and passion will happily reside in their relationship forever and ever. They swear to each other that they will never end up like their parents, or like other couples that have resigned themselves to being comfortable or uncomfortable roomies. Well nothing could be further from the truth.
Maintaining romance and intimacy in a relationship takes work…hard work in fact. It has to squeezed in between bills, kids, work, chores, learning things about you they really didn’t want to know, sickness, attitudes, morning breath, etc…you get the picture. Men and women have to both do their parts to show up mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and physically daily to keep their love life vibrant, fresh, and exciting.
Women are you doing your part?
Women that are in exclusive committed relationships and expect that their mate is to ONLY make love to them have to do their part to see that their expectation is met. Women, men have told me time and time again that they too need and want to be openly desired. They want their women to initiate sex more.
Men want to know that they are on your mind, that you still find them attractive, and that you still want them as much as they want you. They want a sexy text every now and then. They want you to send them flowers with an “I’m thinking of you, I miss you, or I want you” note attached. They want you to take the initiative and plan a romantic evening. Yes, they want you to surprise them with a call telling them to be ready at 8:00 tonight.
They want to come home after a long day at work and have you anxiously and ravenously pursue them. Men want women to be attentive and responsive to their needs. Men also want women to be spontaneous and adventurous. In other words, they want the woman you presented when you were dating them to have a recurring role in the relationship. Women must remember that men are very visual. They revel in the fact you took time to dress for them whether you’re going to work or coming to bed.
They love that you are a sensual and soft woman. They delight in the fact that you wear their favorite fragrance and have soft silky skin. Women must remember that men have the same feelings and desires that we do, even if they don’t regularly show it. As such we must treat them in the manner we want to be treated.
Men, are you doing your part on page 2…..
Carlos says
Great article, must do a better job at following/reading your articles. Must say good insight and perspective.