I recently came to a revelation in my own life: I've been crossing the threshold of my home expecting to get into it with my wife. And although I have no tool of measurement to gauge how often this was occurring, I can say it was happening a lot. I was fearing aka expecting aka having faith in a negative outcome. I realized that this kind of behavior is what happens when you … [Read more...]
What’s Your Definition Of Provider?
What's your definition of provider, folks? Let's face facts: this new economy has taken the institution of marriage on a rollercoaster ride. With joblessness and financial crisis at an all-time high, the traditional roles of mother/wife, father/husband, and "man as provider" have been challenged. So, at this time, do gender roles take place in the answering the question, "what … [Read more...]
An Open Letter, From Father To Son As You Begin College
It's been couple of weeks since my wife and I dropped our son off for college for his freshman year. I have to say only now are we beginning to adjust. Even with our very vocal daughter still under our charge the quiet emptiness our son has left behind is palpable. For years I salivated over the idea of getting him out of the house. He ate too much, slept too much and did too … [Read more...]
Marriage: Only Grown Folks Need Apply
I state the following only because at times I have been guilty of it myself: There is a game of love, but marriage is not a game. Marriage is not for the faint of heart nor for children. You are in this together for the sake of each other to make two better together than apart; To enjoy life and make it rich in ways money can't provide. It isn't a competition. It isn't about … [Read more...]
Investing Into The Sexual Health of Your Marriage
Not long ago a woman was complaining to me about her husband when she suddenly interrupted herself and said, "You know I should probably be more intimate with him...We'd probably get along better and it probably would help me from being stressed out. But it's hard." "There's a reason intimacy is supposed to exist between married folks," I said. "It ain't about some dude, your … [Read more...]
Women: Over-Emotional or Under-Valued?
One day I was speaking with a woman about the dating game and she had plenty to say about being disappointed by men, black men, as she is African American and they are her preference for dating. When I asked her why she cited a specific example and gave me way more detail than I asked for or expected. The following is what she explained to me: On Monday He [her current man] … [Read more...]
I Love Black Women
I was recently hoodwinked by Facebook. An article came up in my feed about the firing of Satoshi Kanazawa over his very unscientific blog post in Psychology Today about African American women being unattractive. This news is nearly two years old and the offensive article in question, even older. But it did get me to thinking the mere notion of any subset of women as being … [Read more...]
7 Keys to Success in Life and Love
So if your 2013 has been anything like mine you went into it without resolutions and simply prepared for success. 2012 was a year that for many, just needed to end. But good does come from bad. You have the opportunity to be blessed by your struggles and hardships if you allow yourself to learn from them. As the preachers say, "Turn your setbacks into setups!" The following … [Read more...]
Give Wifey Something To Come Home To
When my wife is out I worry, not about what she is doing or who she is with, but whether or not she is safe. There are many times when she loses track of time or thinks that because she's out with a group she is safe. But it doesn't work that way. As a spouse I believe it's our jobs to keep each other updated on our whereabouts, exactly for the reasons many would figure it … [Read more...]
‘This’ Man Grew Up Wanting To Be Married
In late November I was in attendance at the Tyler's Love and Life in Atlanta event. In fact, I was the event photographer as I've been for several of the Tyler New Media events over the past twelve months. During the engaging discussion on love and romance, I was struck by one of the featured panelist's statements which I will paraphrase below: Boys don't grow up wanting to be … [Read more...]
How My Wife Transformed Me
Because of my wife, I am transformed. But only recently, have I come to realize this and am now able to understand and navigate the following: Growth From Strife Every argument, disagreement, mistake and misstep is and should be used as an opportunity for growth. They represent challenges to apologize and move on and to act differently and to hopefully be better the next … [Read more...]
How To Get Rid of the Honey-Do List and Keep It Gone
Someone I know, a man, recently told me me he believes something in women's DNA requires them to always have a man tasked. He went on to say if we aren't doing anything then either something is wrong or we must have forgotten to do something we were told to do. I should point out this man is divorced, but plenty of married men feel the same way. In spite of this, I accidentally … [Read more...]
4 Proven Acts That Will Show Your Wife You Love Her
Adapted from the article: 5 Ways To Show Your Wife You Love Her They say actions speak louder than words... I wish I could say I'm the most doting of husbands, but I'm not. In fact, I've often confused being hardworking (I work hard in the Honey-Do department) and the former as being one in the same. Based on my love of my kids I've even gone so far, after bending over … [Read more...]
Blended Families Week: 3 Reasons Why I’m Adopting My Son
My wife and I have the same last name. That was the catalyst for our meeting. Twelve fateful years ago I was at an event she was managing. She overhead me being introduced and barged her way into the conversation to find out if we were related. I knew we weren't. And my life changed forever. One of the first things she told me was that she had a five year-old. I looked at … [Read more...]
My Wife IS NOT My Friend (On Facebook) – 3 Years Later
This is a follow-up to the popular BMWK classic: My Wife Is Not My Friend On Facebook My wife and I are connected on Instagram, Pinterest, GetGlue and Twitter. My wife and I work out together, watch movies together and go on dates. After receiving "hate email" a few days ago, over the Facebook article I wrote here almost three years ago. I decided it was time to write a … [Read more...]