Be honest: Could your relationship with your in-laws use a little work? Are you as nice as you could be? Do you let past events dictate your current behavior?
If you didn’t get off to the best start with your in-laws and you know that friction is causing headaches for your spouse, make some adjustments in your attitude – starting NOW. Now that you are married, YOU are part of the family, too. Continuing to think of “my family” and “their family” is counterproductive.
If you usually have a standing date with your in-laws (Sunday dinner every week, for example), make an effort to tell your spouse you’re looking forward to seeing them. Ask how your sister- or brother-in-law is doing. Make it a point to pick up something special your mother-in-law may like, like a copy of People magazine with Denzel on the cover. Finally “confirm” some of those pending Facebook family requests that have been piling up.
Make small changes to have a more peaceful relationship. It will work wonders for your spouse, but also for you.
BMWK family – how is your relationship with the in-laws? If you started off shaky, how did you turn things around? Share your tips in the comments!
It’s the last week of the challenge – let’s finish strong!
TheMrs says
I will admit that I have done poorly in this category. I do not hate my in-laws but I am not a fan of my mother-in-law or grandmother-in-law. I don’t think that I voice this but my husband does make comments about it. I make sure that we all attend the family get togethers but don’t go out of my way to spend time with them or take my children around them. My husband makes it out like it is a money thing(my parents are able to financially give to my children while his mom can’t do much and choses to do none) and defends every action and puts down all of my arguments if it is brought up. I just want them to acknowledge my kids and give a call once it a while, I mean they are in the same household as their loved one so a phone call is free.
Vencada says
It’s amazing how marriages are affected by bad in-law relationships. My mother lives with us due to old age, and it’s very rare that they will sit down and have a good conversation. For some reason they have a strained relationship and it weighs heavily on me. I find myself being the mediator and I often walk out of the room to force them to talk. My mother would be considered the “nagger”, and my husband is the victim of her nagging. I totally understand and encourage him to talk about things that she likes. My husband is a quiet person at times and is not a big talker – he can be, but you have to catch him on a talkative day. My mother on the other hand will talk about the trees for hours…and it drives him crazy. I’ve ask God to intervene because I was not going to stress out about two adults who are not able to have a cordial relationship. When I let go – i felt so much better. Now, I’m able to relax even when I’m sitting in the same room when they are not talking. I continue to do whatever I’m doing. I refuse to let their relationship come between me and my husbands marriage. We’ve only been married for a year, and I respect him for putting up with this living arrangement – in that I honor him.
Rubygriffin36 says
Honestly, my in- laws,they judge me,before they even knew me…I was persistent,that was true…because somes in-laws,want let go,there’s alway some drama,by trying to keep their men,mommy babies.I would love to be involve in their life…but me,i believe if it don’t fit,don’t force it…You marriage your husband,not your in-laws…but it’s nice to be nice.I’m just saying…Why worry over somethings you just can’t control…it’s what it’s, and alway will be…In- laws will be in-laws,you just got to know when to fold it…but each it on…
guest says
@vencada- this is just my opinion but i think your husband is just being himself. i would think that since he is not naturally a talker maybe he is tense because he feels forced to do something that is not a natural inclination for him. not to say that you are. however maybe thats the way he feels when placed in a situation with out the support of a group conversation. your mother cant expect him to be someone he is not. especially in his own home where he should feel comfortable. i would suggest making her a “gift” of a pretty phone number organizer with all her nieces, nephews, grandkids, sisters, brothers, old church friends and others. encourage her to call at least two people a day. by the time your husband gets home she would already have her fill of company. both sides are satisfied.