When I was a little girl, all I wanted to do was come home and share with my mom all that happened during my school day. I would tell her who liked who, which of my friends got in trouble and who wore what, to name a few. I know my mouth ran for a mile a minute and may have been challenging to listen to on certain days, but my mom listened. When I think back on my childhood I can remember my mom being more than just physically present. Of course she had her days every now and then as all working mothers do, but she was completely engaged and connected to our lives.
As an adult, I am just now realizing the impact this had on me and why it is necessary that I carry on this tradition with my own children. I once thought sitting in the same room with my children with a TV on or them playing a game was me being present and spending time with them. I was wrong. My girls need more than that. Although they never complained, I felt convicted because I was missing the connection. They are just like I was as a child. They need me to actively listen to their stories and not only listen but ask questions about what is being shared. They also need me to close my magazine or book, put my cell phone away, and turn off my laptop.
My mom making us a priority way back then made me feel important, worthy, and like I truly mattered. It built my self-esteem and convinced me that there was a person in this world who thought I was wonderful. I am grateful because my mom still listens to me just as she did then. This is the exact feeling I want my daughters to have when they grow up. I don’t want to waste this precious time we have together by not being fully present. I want to give them all they desire to feel loved, appreciated and know that they are worthy of the best that life has to offer. In order for them to experience that feeling, I know I must be more than just physically present. I must be all in by being aware, connected and engaged.
BMWK – Please share with us how you ensure that you are present for your kids.
Denise McBride says
I am really struggling with being more than physically present for my family. I have recently gotten out of the military, and trying to adjust to a new career, in which I travel more than 40 miles to, has been very challenging. I have always been able to balance it all. Nowadays it is very challanging for me. This article was right on time for me! It reminded me of the importance of being more than physically available.
Tiya Cunningham-Sumter says
Denise,
Thanks for your comment and your service. It’s not always easy, but definitely worth it.
Lorri says
So important even with our dads. I see lots of families making money, but having no time for the family. It sends a message, but maybe not the one you really family to learn about what’s important in life.
Marva says
Yes, that is so true. My husband is very hard worker. However, I always emphasize spend quality time with our daughter (2 years old.) Simple things go to the park, walk in the mall. She is truly Daddy’s little girl. Before you know she will be all grown-up and married.
Lorri says
This is important to me because parents can sometimes be present, but only in official capacities. Like when the child is in trouble at school or on special occasions.
TD says
Wow! This really puts things in perspective. I work graveyard and my time is very strained. Trying to balance marriage and motherhood gets hard. On top of a martial storm were in, this gives me hope and helps me face reality that I’m not doing enough. Thanks.