by Harriet Hairston
In case you hadn’t noticed, for the past couple of weeks, I’ve been giving various types of book reports about maintaining a positive attitude and helping your marriages thrive. In case you’re wondering why, I’ll tell you (and if you’re not wondering why, humor me, OK?).
I felt like I lost my “mojo” for a while. Much of what I was writing was very cynical and negative…the vibe was not a very good reflection of what BMWK represents. You will never lay eyes on some of the foolishness I was turned in, but let’s just say it threw up some serious red flags. I was really having difficulty finding the light I once had no problem shining through the words God gave me to share.
I had a little chit chat with Tara (yes, “THE” Tara Pringle Jefferson) about my concerns, and she suggested that I go back through some of my older articles to re-encourage myself. I had a little chit chat with Lamar (yes, “THE” Lamar Tyler) about what I was having a hard time with, and he suggested that if I couldn’t write anything positive regarding my own marriage, to offer something informative for the readers to consume.
Then I had a little talk with Jesus. He promptly told me that my problem was ME…I was in my own way! I was “leaning on my own understanding” about the season my life and marriage are currently in, and it was killing my purpose!
So along with the Word of God, I started feeding myself books that would help me replenish my mojo. And I found in the words of authors like Norman Vincent Peale, Dr. Deborah Tannen, Dr. Bill Cosby and others the strength to move forward instead of stagnating in negativity. I felt like their words and concepts had to be shared, not only in my marriage, but on a site like BMWK.
That said, I’ve become a bookworm as of late. Thus far, I’ve read over 20 books, and if I find a “WOW…I didn’t know that” concept that moves me, I want to share it with everyone! Much like my Christian walk, I’ve become an evangelist spreading the good news that there is hope for your tomorrow with your spouse; there is joy you can have in your own skin! There is a light that breaks forth out of darkness for all of us if we’re looking…groping…calling…searching hard enough for it!
So here’s a little preview of some of the books I have taken nuggets from. If there are any others you would like to see reviewed, leave them in the comments section:
The Power of the Middle Ground by Marty Babits
An Ounce of Prevention: Divorce Proofing Your Marriage by Gary Richmondand Lisa Bode
10 Lessons to Transform Your Marriage by John and Julie Gottman
The Four Seasons Of Marriage by Gary Chapman
There are five or six more that I haven’t bitten into yet, including a new one by Joyce Meyer. But by all means, go to your local bookstore or library and check them out!
I got my mojo back by finding myself and the further purpose for my marriage and life within these groundbreaking books. I hope the information you’ve read thus far has helped you as it has transformed me. I feel like I can go twice as high as the butterfly in the sky.
…Take a look, it’s in a book…
BMWK, how have the concepts being shared from these resources helped you in your own lives and marriages?
God bless!
Harriet
Harriet…I FEEL you, we are >HERE< This summer has been pretty suckey for our marriage (it harkens back to the end of our first year of marriage where it felt like our communication wasnt hittin and everything was falling apart around us). Thank you for these book rec's, i will be checking them out from our library post haste. Ive also been pulling in closer on my walk with Christ. Its funny when all the things i thought i knew about Him i figured I had "down" but now im relearning all over again. Blessings!
Marriage is a very sacred sacrament in our lives. We must treasure, respect and love our partner no matter what it takes.
I think it’s necessary to keep a marriage book in the reading rotation at all times. Reading a book together is something my wife and I always do. Even if we are not reading it daily, we have one in the arsenal for whenever we have a moment together and want to do some reading. It may take us several months to finish but at least we are on the same page.
Good post. By the way… was it “THE” Jesus that you had a little talk with? LOL!
LOL…yes, it was Jesus (yes, “THE” Messiah, Lover of my soul, wonderful Counselor, bright and morning Star, Alpha and Omega, Christ) I had a little chit chat with. I went to Him first, but didn’t really want to hear what he had to say initially until the bottom fell out. LOL
I agree with you, though. It’s always necessary to keep a little something in the arsenal for tough times like this.
Harriet, thank you for these recommendations! Who better to share how to overcome marital challenges, than someone who has been there and more importantly come back from there! So I applaud you and your writing, when you were going through and when times were good as well. Thank you! Marriages aren’t just rosy all the time and we also need to hear what happens when we are not at our best. A book that I always borrow nuggets of information from is the Mastery of Love, by Don Miguel Ruiz. The information in this book, allowed me to take a step back and look at my role as a wife/partner/friend and allowed me to let myself off the hook as to what I felt I was responsible for in my relationship. It was an ah ha moment for me once I completed this book. I never looked at my relationship the same again.