Not every couple has a goal of marriage for their relationship. Some are content with dating. That level of commitment is undesirable to some. The truth is, marriage isn’t for everyone and that’s okay.

Yet, there are some couples in committed relationships who avoid the walk down the aisle out of fear that it will change their relationship for the worse.

Some men have complained that sex becomes less frequent after marriage. Some women have felt their men no longer do all those little things they used to do in the beginning of the relationship. Each of these concerns are valid. All those things that took place during the building of that relationship need to continue. What we did to get our spouse is exactly what needs to happen to keep them.

What most don’t realize is that it isn’t marriage that’s changing the relationship, it’s the people involved that are relaxing and failing to put in the amount of effort needed. A marriage will not survive without it.

Couples often feel they don’t have to work as hard, once they marry because they now have what they had been working for. But it’s just the opposite if you want your marriage to last. You have to keep your spouse interested and excited in you. I don’t want singles to avoid marriage because of those fears, but actually prepare for marriage with these few reminders for maintaining a healthy relationship:

• Remember who you both were in the beginning of your relationship. Think about how good you were to one another and how often you considered one another’s feelings. That can’t change in a marriage.
• Appreciate the time you spend apart. It makes you miss each other a little more and value the time you are together. Remember, having a life outside of your relationship is healthy, especially for a marriage. Spending time with friends and having a hobby is normal and recommended. Remember to give your spouse a little space to also have a life outside of the relationship too.
• Keep in mind how important those intimate moments are to your marriage as well. Don’t limit that because you’re married. Your partner’s sexual desires don’t typically change in that area.
• It’s also important to take care of your health. When you look good, you feel good. Take pride in your appearance. Remember what your partner was attracted to and do your best not to stray too far away from that.
• Remember love is an action word. It has to be demonstrated even more than it’s said. Show your partner affection through gentle words as well as touch and acts of kindness.

Continue to do all those little things with the goal of making your partner happy, just like you did when you were dating.

Of course marriage is a personal choice and should be entered into with careful thought and consideration. If it’s not for you, I understand. However, don’t allow a fear of what could go wrong prevent you from making this amazing commitment to the person you love.

BMWK, did your relationship change after marriage?