We are more than likely familiar with the 5 Love Languages taught to us by Gary Chapman. The book helped us to identify our own language and how we most feel loved.
Well, there are also body languages that speak for us and to our spouse. Some send messages of love while others could possibly send a message of distrust or disrespect. In order to keep your marriage on a healthy love track, you should be aware of each of these body languages and the impact they could have on your relationship.
1. Arms folded tightly
During a discussion with your spouse, this action could demonstrate defensiveness or that you are closed off to other ideas or opinions. Either way, it doesn’t send a positive message to your spouse.
Most people want their ideas and thoughts acknowledged and validated. Be conscious of this one. Although it may not seem like a big deal, it could be off-putting to your spouse. Use posture that says you’re open and willing to listen attentively to your partner.
2. A cocked head
You may really be tired or just trying your best to understand a complicated conversation. But if your head is tilted to the side when your spouse is talking to you, it could be signaling that you’re annoyed or even bored.
Instead, trying nodding your head when your spouse speaks. When you do this—whether you agree or disagree—it demonstrates you are at least listening and possibly following along with the conversation. Think about what you like to see when you’re sharing information with someone else. Nodding is definitely a positive action you can do to show you’re present in the discussion.
3. A smirk or pursed lips
This could be a sign of disrespect to some. It could either mean you don’t believe what your partner is saying, you’ve heard it all before or that it just makes no sense to you.
A smirk or pursed lips can be seen as a reaction, meaning you’re already reacting with amusement, indifference or mystification before your spouse has even had the chance to complete their thoughts. People want to be taken seriously and not judged, especially when they are sharing their truth.
4. Wondering eye contact
I get it. Sometimes, we look off to the ceiling or to the floor to help concentrate on the information we are sharing or to help process the information being told to us. But unfortunately, that action doesn’t always come across like engaged listening.
Good eye contact equals engagement in most people’s minds. It also demonstrates a sign of trustworthiness and attentiveness. Be sure you are looking your spouse in the eyes when you’re speaking—and even when you’re listening. He or she will appreciate it, and you’ll benefit even more from the conversation.
5. Hand gestures
A lot of us talk with our hands, which is fine. But understand, these actions can go either way in our relationship talks. First of all, hand gestures should never go in our spouse’s face (i.e., pointing fingers at your spouse, raising a clenched fist, and, of course, the proverbial “talk to the hand” motion).
We have to respect their space. Also, your gestures should never come across as hostile. We must consider what message our hands may be sending. Holding your partner’s hands could be calming for you both. Also, keeping your hands to the side or even folding them when having a heated discussion might be the best move.
Body language means more than we think when it comes to our relationships. In those love conversations, your spouse should actually feel the love. It’s the little things we want to be mindful of. While your ears are listening, your body should be doing the same thing. Your spouse should never feel disrespected, ridiculed or unloved, especially when communicating with you.
BMWK, which other body language do you feel sends the wrong message to your partner?
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