The Netflix movie, Malcolm & Marie, surely gave us all a lot to talk about. Though the film was cinematically beautiful and the acting was stellar, it highlighted so many of the toxic relationship habits that typically destroy a couple. This drama also left us contemplating, what love should really look and feel like? There are quite a few relationship lessons in Malcolm & Marie, but in this article, we will focus on the 5 that you and your spouse should be cautious of right away.

5 Lessons Learned from Malcolm & Marie

In this article:

• Lesson 1: Support Your Spouse’s Dreams 
• Lesson 2: Pay Attention to the Insecurities
• Lesson 3: Watch Your Mouth and Mind Your Manners
• Lesson 4: Have a Life of Your Own 
• Lesson 5: Show Your Spouse Some Appreciation

Though Malcolm and Marie both made poor choices in the film, it still highlighted, for me, all the essentials that should make a relationship work, and I have been excited to break it down and share the lessons all couples should pay attention to. 

Lesson 1: Support Your Spouse’s Dreams

In the movie, Malcolm is on a high after his movie premiere, but the viewers can feel that Marie’s energy doesn’t quite match her man’s. I won’t spoil the why for you here, but from the lessons in Malcolm & Marie, the first is to support your spouse’s dreams. I know it might be difficult if you have a spouse who’s always dreaming, but it’s okay to show your support and redirect if you have to. It is really about having your partner’s back, showing, through your words and actions, that you believe in them. Your belief can be made evident by using powerful words that build them up, asking questions about their dreams, and being right by their side sharing in their excitement. You should be your spouse’s greatest supporter. 

Lesson 2: Pay Attention to the Insecurities

Whoa! I don’t want to give too much away, but both Malcolm and Marie’s insecurities were revealed. From career failures to being alone, to being jealous of what your partner has and who else they share it with, insecurities were everywhere you looked in this film. As you get to know your partner, you will begin to see where they have fear and in what areas they have concerns around. I challenge you to pay attention to all of it. It will provide you with the greatest insight into your partner. And not only pay attention to it, but be careful with it. Don’t use it as a way to get back at your spouse, but use it as a way to be sensitive to their needs. Use it to be kind and gentle as they work through those insecurities to become a better person. Be supportive as they work through the issues, the same way you want them to be supportive of your needs. 

Lesson 3: Watch Your Mouth and Mind Your Manners

Okay, Malcolm and Marie shouted, argued, cried, and used language toward each other that should never be said to someone you love, ever. Though it was fiction, there was some reality in their exchange that you could feel happens behind many closed doors. Oh, the pain of their words hit deep. They chose the most hurtful words they could find and used the most harmful tones and energy they could muster up. Words are so powerful and people know that. It’s why we use them the way we do because we know how they can hurt and how they can heal. I challenge all the couples reading this post, to be mindful of what you say and how you say it when you’re dealing with your partner. Thinking before you speak, and being curious about how your words will land and impact your spouse, is a great place to begin. I am big on first thinking through the goal or outcome of your exchange with your spouse, and it is really simple. If you want a positive response or to heal your relationship, you can’t say words that will do the opposite of that. These are crucial lessons in Malcolm & Marie.

Lesson 4: Have a Life of Your Own

This movie really had me going through all of my emotions. There were moments where I was yelling at the screen, times when I shed a tear, and moments when I had to just sit back and reflect on what I was watching. One of the biggest lessons in Malcolm & Marie was centered on what each individual brings and takes away from the relationship table. So much pain and disappointment can stem from one partner feeling they don’t have something of their very own. I encourage every individual in a committed partnership to make sure you still have a life of your own. Of course, love on your partner, give them your support but have something that is just for you too. Invest in a hobby, your career, or your business, because it will bring you a sense of fulfillment that is sometimes needed outside of your relationship. Your spouse can’t be your everything. They should complement your life, not complete it. So find something that fills that void you might be feeling. 

Lesson 5: Show Your Spouse Some Appreciation 

At the beginning of the film, I found myself wondering what was up with Marie’s energy and we later learned a whole lot more. But initially, I wanted to yell at the screen, “Girl, be happy for that man!” This is another key area to think about when it comes to being happy in a relationship. Being grateful and showing appreciation can bring about healing and positive energy. How often do you stop and take notice of what you are grateful for in your relationship and with your spouse? If it isn’t very often, start today and show your spouse some appreciation. Tell them that you appreciate them for being a good spouse, or for how they show up for you. List out all of the things you appreciate about your spouse and go through the list with them and watch how the energy shifts in your relationship.

The lessons in Malcolm & Marie really showed us the darkest parts of a relationship. It taught so many valuable lessons of how not to behave in a loving partnership. I hope that couples who watch the movie are able to reflect, learn from it, and show up better in their own marriage. 

BMWK, we want to hear from you. What did you think of the Netflix movie, Malcolm & Marie? 

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