Be real about your concerns, but also be supportive.
When something pops up during your marriage and it’s not something you expected, just sit and have an honest conversation about it.
Keeping your true feelings bottled up doesn’t help anyone, and it ultimately hurts you the most.
I expressed to my husband that my main concerns are the physical danger he’ll now be in, and the emotional trauma he will have to endure from seeing many of the horrific things that first responders see all the time.
However, I also expressed that I honor and respect this passion that God placed in his heart and I would support him throughout the process. He now knows how I feel about this new phase in his life, but he also knows I support him and his dream.
Make every effort to understand your spouses “why.”
If your spouse changes how they feel about their career, or where you live, or the vision they have for their life or your family, you have to take the time to truly listen to and understand their “why.”
Without doing that, you are just left feeling like they switched things up and have placed you in a situation your didn’t bargain for.
But here’s the thing – there are no guarantees in love and marriage. Things change. People change.
You have to be willing to have really tough conversations when those changes occur. And most importantly, you have to be willing to hear your spouse out and fully understand their perspective.
Without an open heart and an open mind, you will never be able to manage all the unexpected things life throws your way.
Becoming a firefighter is my husband’s way of pursuing a passion and helping people in need. He is not leaving his other job. And as dangerous and scary as this may seem for our family, I have to respect his “why.”
Make adjustments and stay on the same page.
Over the next several months, I will have to make some serious adjustments. My husband will spend a decent amount of his free time in training, but the rest of our lives still must go on.
We still have two young children who need us, and I still have a business I am getting off the ground. None of that changes.
But through discussions and adjustments, we will make it work. The unexpected can often lead to major blessings in your life.
Instead of feeling frustrated because you are dealing with more than you signed up for, look at it as an opportunity for growth and expansion for your family. Make adjustments, talk to each other often, and remain on the same page.
If you do that, things will work out.
BMWK family, what do you do when unexpected changes occur in your marriage?
Sharron M says
Thanks so much for sharing this powerfully written article. Im have learned that this journey called life is filled with many twists and turns that we did not bargin far. Please allow me to briefly share this:
I earned a Psychology degree in 1994 because I wanted to help others so for 10 years, I worked in the Mental Health sector. Then, I began to explore other career avenues and worked in Corrections for 3 years. After I connected with God, He decided to place me into the Education sector and I must add that I love my career calling because I also answered His calling by accepting my position to minister unto His people. All I can say is…Thank You LORD!!!