Too many people, and society as a whole, equate possessiveness with love, subtly and not so subtly advancing the idea that the object of your affection is property to be acquired, captured or conquered, a prize to be won. The idea that someone’s desire for us is so overpowering that he or she would do anything to have us seems powerfully romantic, at least initially, and is particularly appealing to those with ego issues.
However, if you are an adult and another person feels entitled to control your every move—who you communicate and associate with, what you wear (clothes, makeup), what you do, how you act—that is not love. That is a hostage situation. Such “romantic” possessiveness is the precursor to all kinds of adult-and-messy, unloving behavior, including domestic/partner abuse, stalking, sexual assault and murder.
Real, healthy love allows. Loving treatment allows you to be without requiring permission. It allows you to grow and develop into more of yourself; allows you to learn more so you can do and be more. Grown love considers, cooperates and collaborates. It does not disrespect or demand, nor does it dictate.
Read the full article by Zara Green and Alfred Edmond, Jr.: Possessiveness Has Nothing to Do With Healthy Love, then come back and tell us what you think.