They educate themselves continuously on maintaining a happy marriage.
I thank God for a site like Black and Married with Kids that has opened my eyes to so many great articles, strategies and tools to make me a better wife for my husband and vice versa. Just like most professionals need to seek continuous education (whether it’s training on the job, or certifications), we need continuous education in order to continue working on our marriage to make it better and happier. Study happy marriages, read about happy marriages, and surround yourself with people who are happy in their marriages.
They don’t compare their marriage to the Huxtables, the Carters or the Jones’.
Stop comparing your marriage to what you see, what you hear, or what you dream up in your head. There is nothing perfect about anything here on earth and that includes marriage. Marriage is what you make of it – the good, the bad and the not so great. When you learn to appreciate what you have in your own home (and not your neighbor’s), and what your spouse brings to the table, it can only lead to a happier place. You may not have all the money you want, but you have a spouse that supports, appreciates and is committed to your marriage, which is something that money can’t buy.
They learn how to have fun.
If it’s one thing that we do in my house, it’s that we laugh a lot. Now that the kids are getting older and have caught on, it can sometimes get a bit ridiculous. If the neighbors didn’t really know us, they might be concerned with all the hysterical laughter and screams that come from our house at times. I’m generally the more serious one of the two, but once I get going, it’s a wrap. When things get stressful or crazy, that means it’s time for a fun break. So create one if you don’t have it. Sometimes you just have to stop everything and simply focus on each other.
So yes, happy couples really do exist. The difference between a happy couple and an unhappy couple is the dedication, commitment, respect and work that each of them puts in.
BMWK: What things can you add to this list that you observe in couples that really are happy in their marriage?