Recently, I was talking to a friend about relationships and marriage. She made the statement that, “You know, you see those couples who are always so happy and never have anything bad to say. No one can ever be that happy.” I had to really think about what she said as I was a little taken aback. This was probably in part because I’m that person that will always post about how great my husband is (no really, he is), and never anything disrespectful about the disagreements we may have. Of course our differences and challenges exist and some of them may be petty. But contrary to popular belief (and mainstream media), people don’t need to see or hear all of that! Just because they always appear to be happy, doesn’t mean they are putting on some sort of a show.
Happy couples really do exist because….…
They embrace the challenges.
Sometimes challenges in your marriage arise because you need to be “checked”. You may think there’s nothing wrong with how you talk or handle certain situations. For example, a couple of months ago, my husband thanked me for something I hadn’t even realized would mean so much to him. He was in a bad mood, and when I asked him what was wrong, he told me he had a headache, so I said ok and left him alone. That’s it. I didn’t cop an attitude right back. I didn’t give him the cold shoulder, or the infamous stank face. I simply let him feel what he was feeling and come talk to me when he was ready.
This has always been a challenge for me to do, until recently. I have always been quick to cop an attitude or get defensive with certain things/subjects. I was the Queen of grudge holding. He was not really allowed to get upset even if it had nothing to do with me directly. This one little…okay, a major adjustment in my attitude, has made for some quicker make-ups and happier conversations. Sometimes you are the one who holds the key to a happier marriage.
They praise their spouse in public, and disagree in private.
I’ve honestly never understood the airing of dirty laundry between spouses, especially when it comes to doing it on social media. I had to delete a friend from my Facebook friends list because she and her husband were going at it and disrespecting each other in the ugliest sense of the word…only a couple of months into marriage. There was name-calling, bus rolling, and back stabbing exchanges going on right in the comfort of their own…Facebook newsfeeds. It was nasty and embarrassing.
So yes, I give my husband a lot of praise and probably not even all of the praise that he deserves. I can’t imagine deliberately embarrassing him in public or on social media. We are very conscious of this even if it’s just in front of the kids or family.
Check out the viral video of the gospel song – “Keep Your Business Off of Facebook”