Money is one of the all-time reasons couples get divorced. Either someone is not making enough, spending too much or not paying bills. There are probably several reasons couples fight and/or divorce over money. I thought I would share some tips that will hopefully help someone come to an understanding about money.
- Decide on how many bank accounts you are going to have. You can each have your own, one joint or a joint and two separate accounts. Whatever you decide, you should discuss how bills will be paid, how much you are going to save, and what to do with the remainder of the funds. Personally, my husband and I have a joint account. It works for us but it may not work for everyone.
- Decide how you are going to pay the bills. Will one person be in charge of paying all the bills with both incomes, will you have individual bills to pay or will you both go half on all the bills? In our household we pay different bills with both incomes because we have different bills set up with our debit card numbers.
- Decide not to hide or lie about money. Some couples lie about the money they have or hide money from their spouse. That’s never a good idea; how would you feel if your spouse was doing the same? Ask yourself why you are lying and/or hiding money in the first place. Don’t give your spouse a reason to mistrust you. My husband and I have been told by others that we shouldn’t tell each other about extra money we get. We don’t practice that.
- Decide to budget. Everyone needs a budget and couples definitely need one. If you create a budget and stick to it (most of the time), you have a better chance of staying out of debt. Too much debt can cause a couple to break up because they start placing blame on their partners. I’ve witnessed it with couples I’ve counseled in my previous job, it’s not pretty.
As with all things in a relationship, communication and compromise is necessary. Be honest with each other and with yourselves. There will be times you will not agree about everything and that’s ok, just be willing to compromise. Remember, money can make or break your marriage, it’s your choice.
BMWK family, what suggestions do you have regarding marriage and money?
I must agree with the surface text of Decide, Decide, Decide, Decide. Leaving important community issues to one person or the other is like walking on the edge of a cliff. You might very well be ok, but one slight misstep and the relationship can suffer.
The real subtext money and virtually all other issues is communicate.
My wife and I have one thought that has served us well. If we don’t agree on something, we don’t do it. Why? Because if we moved ahead with a particular action, it could be a sticking point from which there is no reseet button.
If we decided to purchase a particular home, start a business, make an investment, we do it together. If I picked a home all by myself and it worked out fine, well then good for me. But where is the ownership? Is she just living in my house now? What if it didn’t work out so well? Am I to blame for the mistake until the end of time? DUH!
So, that’s my “two sence” … Thanks
Oops, I meant: Sense
Good points Don!